46. How Yoga Can Help Your Body Image and Confidence with Rachel Pradarelli, Coach and Nurse Practitioner
In this episode of Sturdy Girl, host Jess welcomes Rachel, a women's wellness coach and yoga/meditation teacher. Rachel shares her journey from experiencing burnout as a family nurse practitioner to finding new purpose in coaching women to appreciate and empower their bodies. The discussion covers the impacts of yoga, particularly yin yoga, on body image and mental health, the significance of mindfulness and meditation, the power of gratitude, and the principles of the law of attraction. They also delve into handling negative self-talk and the transformative effects of inner work.
Connect with Rachel HERE
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Jess: Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of Sturdy Girl. I have another amazing guest on with us today. Rachel, hello. Thank you for joining us. I'm going to let you do the honors of introducing yourself and telling us a little bit more about what you do.
Rachel: Hey, Jess. Thanks for having me on. I'm so happy to be here. So I am a women's wellness coach and also a yoga and meditation teacher. And I help women to stop hating their bodies and to [00:00:30] go from self criticism to feeling more comfortable and empowered in their skin.
Jess: This is like directly in line with all things Sturdy Girl.
Rachel: Yes, I know. I love it.
Jess: I do too. Freaking A. Okay. So tell me a little bit about how you got into coaching because were you a family nurse practitioner before you got into coaching?
I was gonna say tell me what that journey looked like.
Rachel: Yeah. So, I mean, I'm technically, I'm still a licensed family nurse practitioner, but I am no longer in the [00:01:00] clinical setting. Ooh, yeah. And that is for a few reasons, but I experienced like severe burnout working in the primary clinical setting here in the States. that led to just a whole bunch of my own health and wellness.
issues. And so commitment to finish you know, my contract. So that was kind of my end goal, but I pretty much knew that I needed to get out. I needed to remove myself from the situation because I was [00:01:30] experiencing, yeah, like chronic fatigue depression. Digestive issues, chronic hip pain, all of this stuff was manifesting physically emotionally and spiritually on, on all levels, honestly.
And so, after I removed myself from the environment and I knew that that needed to be my first step, I honestly was like, I, Was not even sure I wanted to like do anything related to health and well being wellness anymore I was like, I don't even know like i'll go work in the state park or something.
I just was [00:02:00] so disconnected from What my purpose alignment all of that who I was? I just felt like completely lost. And so that is what ultimately led me to my own experience with wellness coaching and then just a deep dive into a whole bunch of self reflection and inner work. And that like specifically looked like deepening my own yoga and meditation practices and engaging in, like I said, my own [00:02:30] experience with wellness coaching and support.
And so, that's what ultimately led me to coaching and it just, so I mean, looking back to where I was. Then and now and obviously there is no arriving like we are constantly evolving and growing right so it's not like oh I'm like free of problems and just like love myself all the time but it's all relative to so it's like looking at where I was from where and where I am now.
It's night and day to me. yeah so that's my [00:03:00] passion now is. Supporting women to take that first step, whatever that looks like. You know, if that is leaving the environment that they're in or to starting on that path to connecting with yourself again, accepting yourself, accepting your body, I'm moving from
there.
Jess: I love that. that's fantastic. okay. Were you practicing yoga before? While you were a nurse practitioner and going through all of the stress and burnout and those pieces, was that a part of your life at that time?
Rachel: It was, Jess. [00:03:30] Yes. I love that you asked that because, well, I'm not sure where you want to go with that, but my relationship to my yoga practice has changed. significantly. Like since I went through my yoga teacher training program. Cause before when I was working as a nurse practitioner, I wasn't, I didn't have that extra training.
And so that definitely evolved my relationship to yoga. And so my practice also evolved too.
Jess: do you feel like yoga practice Helped you get through the burnout? Like, do you feel like that was [00:04:00] a significant piece of that
Rachel: So this is interesting. I feel like, when I was working clinically. In retrospect, I, not quite sure, it was really only after I left the environment that I had the time and space to like, not only just breathe but really reflect on like what I wanted, what, was my purpose, like ask myself all these questions and really dig into that, that shift, like that mind shift [00:04:30] also related to my relationship to yoga and meditation and mindfulness and being present.
So yes, it did help to some degree, but now it has. Yeah, it just has a different meaning
to
Jess: I'd say probably, probably, evolved because like when you're in the stress of clinical work, there isn't a lot of space to make yoga probably be or your relationship with self or any of those things be the importance that they need to because you're in that constant stress [00:05:00] cycle.
Rachel: Oh my gosh. Yeah. I mean, that is the thing. It's just this incessant cycle of self talk, of thoughts. And it's the negative energy feeding off of the negative energy. Like that, that's how the law of attraction and, and law of energy works, you know? So it makes sense now when I look back, right?
Yes, it was a part of, like, physical activity for me, like, movement, and yes, there were moments of stillness and presence, but the great majority of my day was [00:05:30] spent in this negative, disempowering self talk, thought process, and, like, that literally went on for the bulk hours of the day, you know, so it makes sense why my results and my reality reflected that
Jess: Okay, I definitely want to take this conversation in a couple different directions. But I'm going to claim absolute ignorance and ask you what the heck law of attraction and law of energy are because I have absolutely no idea.
Rachel: yes, Jess, this is amazing. And this is one of the things that I was introduced to, like, in, in this whole [00:06:00] process of inner work, self reflection, deep dive because I was unfamiliar with it not too long ago either. So, this is how I like to explain it. So everything in this universe is made of energy.
Everything, like, this table, you and I, water, a chair thoughts, emotions, those are made of energy. And anything that has energy is vibrating, it's constantly vibrating so the difference is at what frequency that thing is vibrating [00:06:30] at, so it's either like a higher frequency or a lower frequency.
So things that vibrate naturally at a lower frequency, like when we're looking at like emotions and thoughts are like your disempowering thoughts like shame, guilt criticism, depression. These are all like low frequency. States. They produce that. And then things that are like on the other, the other side of that, high frequency, high, high frequency emotions would be like your gratitude, abundance, compassion, love, joy.
okay, so why does that matter? [00:07:00] when these things vibrate, they are literally transmitting this out into the universe. And by the law of attraction, like frequencies attract like frequencies. Okay. feelings are the language of the body.
I've been taught that, and I love that analogy. So, what does that mean? So if you are, like, in a depressive state, like you're feeling down, you're, you're, Self criticism. You feel that in your body, right? Like we all know what that is. It's a heaviness. And that is basically you noticing at what vibration [00:07:30] you are at at the time.
And so by the law of attraction, what you are expressing and transmitting out, you're going to bring in. So you're inviting more of that you know, not only like criticism, depression, but other things that are at that same vibrational frequency. Right. And so that's why it's like, this makes sense. why we do get stuck in these cycles.
Of like, depression, stress you know, self criticism, and we like notice ourselves going down a rabbit hole. That's why that rabbit hole is happening. so it's so powerful Does that [00:08:00] make sense
or
Jess: yeah, that tracks. So I'm curious, just in a vein of like, were talking a little bit before we hit record, like, I have been down the rabbit hole of Buddhism recently.
And so I have read, I'm on my third book about Buddhism just educationally, and it has found its way into my daily life at this point. And so I'm just, I'm thinking about like what you explaining, like, Law of attraction, law of energy, and like, vibration, the vibrational force of those energies, like, how does that tie into the thought of [00:08:30] mindfulness?
just because I was thinking in Buddhism, they talk a lot more about the noticing. of thoughts and feelings with non attachment. They talk about like, letting those things come up. So when we talk about like, paying attention to our self talk, and that's something that we've talked a lot about on this podcast, is like, when we notice our thoughts, and then notice some of the feelings that are coming up with those thoughts, and we notice where we're feeling them in the body, and what they might look or feel like, But it's more from an observational perspective versus you saying, like, it is the [00:09:00] language of the body, but is there like identification with that?
Or are we just, are we still in that like non attachment noticing piece
Rachel: yeah, that's really super powerful. Like that is, and that's what I love, love, love, love to focus on in in my work with women is, I mean, so the first step is building awareness, right? Like for a majority of us, the, this self talk, these thoughts that go on all day, we don't even notice, like we're thinking without knowing we're thinking.
Right. And so the first step in that is [00:09:30] breaking the cycle. that is where the power and strength behind mindfulness and meditation come into play because it creates a space. For us to do that, where we are just sitting there and we are simply observing. and that is a muscle that needs to be built.
Like that is not going to, it is not going to be like you sit down the first time, you know, and like, Oh my God, I'm terrible at this. Like so often when people say like, I'm bad at meditating, the thing is you can't be bad at [00:10:00] meditating because the practice is. When you are noticing, like, oh, there goes that thought again.
It's not about not having that thought again. They are going to be there. Like, that is part of being human. Like, we are going to have those thoughts. We're going to have all these feelings and emotions that constantly come up. But it's a matter of, okay, can I just look at this? Can I notice it as it's arising?
And let it be there without adding on any added, negative self talk, like, oh, there it is again, you know, like [00:10:30] just creating the space for that.
Jess: without judgment?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah. And that is part of also the de identifying process. Like that's the second step. So we build our awareness of it. And that can be done through like a formal meditation practice, or I even recommend starting with just setting an alarm in your phone, literally an awareness alarm.
So set it like two times during the day, whatever times you want. And when it goes off, All you do is stop, you know, if you can, sit down, take a breath, close your eyes, and just reflect on what were you just [00:11:00] thinking, or what was something, like, that you can reflect on earlier in the day that was a disempowering thought, and just bringing awareness to it, like, oh, there's that thought, and then that starts to become more second nature, and that matters because once you can start to notice it more frequently, You're no longer, you're no longer it.
Like, you are not your thought. And that is usually how, like, the identification with thought, or like, the thinking without knowing, is like, you're going throughout your day as if you were that thought. And so, like, we [00:11:30] have to, we have to break that. That's the first step before we can rewrite it. You know,
that makes sense.
Jess: It all makes sense. Yeah. It's, it's so much along the lines of one stuff I've been on complete tangents about. Also too, a lot of the conversations that we've had on the podcast about self talk about the beginning work of body image. That very first step is awareness. It is building awareness around at what times do I feel the worst about my body, the best about my body?
What are some of my triggers? It's [00:12:00] learning to become aware of what some of the things you're saying to yourself, especially with like mirror self talk and those things, like that self talk piece is huge. And it's interesting because that also, as you build the awareness and you practice that skill of just noticing thoughts come up without reacting to them, you give space between that thought and your action reaction or no action, right? That building that skill, like that is a form of mindfulness. And that's something that I don't think people understand. And I think too, like [00:12:30] the words mindfulness or meditation are words that tend to, to Make people shy away. And I don't want to be extreme. Like some people are like, Oh my God, no meditation.
Like I'm terrible at it. Well, it's just a practice. And it's getting comfortable. I mean, I think about the general understanding of people who are like, Oh my God, sitting alone with my thoughts. That sounds terrifying.
that's an even stronger reason to want to build that skill. And that's something that like, I'm just going to go off on my own tangent because again, reading about Buddhism recently, you talk about the more that you're working in this [00:13:00] mindfulness piece, the more there's that contentment.
Contentment that comes from getting to know yourself and maybe starting to notice patterns or certain reactions you have in scenarios. So like, when I get up in the morning and I look in the mirror, what, what tends to be the first thing that I say to myself? When I get in the car and realize that I did it.
You know, I'm once again running on less than a quarter tank of gas, and I've got to hustle to the gas station before I can go to work, and like, what's the self talk coming up right now? but the more you get to know that, the more that you are getting [00:13:30] to know yourself, and there's an easier place to return to, like, maybe external circumstances in your world, or stressful.
There's a lot going on. But if your internal world is something that you are, I'm going to say comfortable in, and obviously that doesn't last, like necessarily last, right? There's continuous work there. But if you know yourself a little bit more, it's a lot easier to get through the hard things in life.
Rachel: Yes, that was so beautifully stated. because it's like you're then you're no longer depending on or trying to control your external circumstances, which so many [00:14:00] of us live by, like just by default, right? Like we're trying to and I think it goes, it ties into what you're saying about like, how people comment on like, Oh, that's so uncomfortable.
Like, I don't think I can sit with myself. It's like, okay, let's look into that a little bit. Like, why do you think that is?
Jess: hmm, tell me more.
Rachel: Yeah. So this is usually what's going on. At least this is what I think is like, there are so many. emotion, the things that we have gone through in our lives that likely we have not processed. And that [00:14:30] can look a lot of different ways. But most of the time when we do start to feel something uncomfortable, whether that's produced by something external The reason we react to it is because we've already experienced something similar in the past that provoked that same emotion, and it's uncomfortable like people don't like to feel uncomfortable right like we don't like to feel stressed or pain or sorrow or, you know, like, it's uncomfortable, but If we're only utilizing like [00:15:00] distraction or not letting those emotions pass all the way through, they're just going to continue to like we were talking about with energy.
Energy doesn't just dissipate like it stays in your body and it will manifest in one way or another and that's usually how disease presents itself like chronic chronic issues. Many times it is related to. Energy that isn't serving us that is staying within it's stuck within the body and so that is another beautiful thing [00:15:30] about mindfulness and meditation is because yes, it does.
It is uncomfortable at first change is going to be uncomfortable and that is your body and brains natural way of trying to actually like support you like it. You know, for like survival purposes, right? Like it is trying to tell you, oh, this is uncomfortable. Let's go back to what we're familiar with, even if that is like a disempowering negative state.
But if it's your If it's been your default for, you know, however many years it's familiar to [00:16:00] you, it's kind of, it's home to you. Right. And so that's why when you're trying to make change, it's uncomfortable at first and it's going to be. And so for people to know that that is totally normal is really important.
Right. But on the other side of that, there is just. a huge, a realm, huge realm of opportunities for growth and strength.
Jess: It all tracks. two books that come to mind. One, have you read The Body Keeps the Score?
Rachel: Oh, I started it, but I
haven't finished it.
Jess: There's a lot of what you're saying resonance with like, the things [00:16:30] that happen to us and those experiences do stay in the body and what it looks like to process some of those things and also the, physical manifestations you can see of kind of where you were talking about coming out of clinical work and being like, I was burnt out and all of my stress symptoms were presenting physically.
And it talks a lot about that. Yeah, and then the other book, and I, my poor listeners, I have talked about this book on, I don't even know how many episodes now, but have you read The Comfort Crisis?
Rachel: No, I have not.
Jess: Okay, it's Michael Easter, and it's essentially what, how [00:17:00] we as humans have gotten soft, and how much we stick to our comfort zones, and what what kind of detriment that has, to our, individual beings as well as, like, society.
but that's talked a lot about just the benefits of getting outside of our comfort zone, and the reasons why our comfort zone exists. And why that is the default, even if that default can be harmful. So
Rachel: Yes, definitely add that to my list. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
I love when we come across resources like that, right? Where it's like, there's a reason why you are serving as this [00:17:30] vehicle to get this information out. You know, it's beautiful. Like, I love that. I'm definitely going to
look into it. I'm going to get that book.
Jess: maybe make it a goal to get Michael Easter on the podcast or something with as
much as I talk about his books.
Okay, we we've touched on mindfulness, we've touched a little bit on meditation and those pieces. I'm gonna go backwards for just a second where we were talking about yoga. I will be totally honest, I have not done yoga in a real long time.
I used to do it a fair amount. Along with my, like, marathon training and all of that, I had a couple of friends who were really into it. So I [00:18:00] used used to. It's not something that I actively practice and I think about it, but with my training schedule, sometimes there is the tendency to be like, well, what moves the needle for my running and my lifting and yoga doesn't see, doesn't see the action anymore.
Rachel: Yeah,
Jess: going back around my question being with the coaching that you do, and I know you integrate yoga into. A fair amount of this. How have you found yoga to impact people's body image, self confidence, those things? Like, what does that look like in practice?
Rachel: yeah. [00:18:30] So the style of yoga that I use in in my programs is yin yoga. Have you heard of yin yoga?
Jess: heard of it. I couldn't tell you what it is though.
So, do explain.
Rachel: yeah. And actually a lot of people aren't, aren't too familiar with it. And it's actually one of the most recent styles of yoga that I've come across also in my kind of yoga journey here.
But it is definitely the one that I'm like most resonating with, at least in this like season of my life. So Yin is a very gentle slow paced. [00:19:00] style of yoga. generally speaking, it is primarily seated and lying down poses only. That you hold for three to five minutes at a time. it is not only for deep muscle tension release improves flexibility, enhances focus, mental clarity eases stress and, and anxiety.
And also like deep emotional release as well. there's all those benefits, but also how it's related to [00:19:30] you know, how we can start to change our relationship to our bodies and ourselves, I think is because of the mindfulness aspect of it, because it is so slow paced. You are there with your thoughts and your body.
And that is the space, right? Like You are in this pose and and you find your unique shape within the pose. it's a practice of surrender. you know, there's no grasping, no gripping, no forcing. So you're meeting your body at wherever the heck it's at that in that day, [00:20:00] maybe, you know, and And being okay with that and like accepting that so allowing that and that whole premise is, very much related to what we're doing with our bodies right where is your body at right now, physically and also.
honoring that and accepting that right without coming from a space of like self judgment. So that helps to cultivate that mindfulness and just noticing. I like to tie in like gratitude scans as well as part of a [00:20:30] Yin session. And so basically what that is, is bringing your attention. So focusing your attention to some part of your body and noticing doing a body reality check, like what does this part of my body actually do for me, right?
So the shift from appearance to function wow, yeah, like, what is my body actually doing for me? Why do I even, like, why do I have a body, right? Like, my eyes allow me to see, my arms allow me to hug the people I love and so, again, kind of breaking that cycle too and so that yin provides [00:21:00] a great space for us to do that and to really, like hone in on our self talk as well.
again, bringing awareness to what, what is going through my head in this pose right now. And then integrating the practice of like replacing that either with something else that resonates with you that is positive, or even just trying to say the opposite, like noticing what you said and just replacing it with the opposite.
Because that's also how we start. That is how the whole process of rewiring [00:21:30] of our brains happens. Needs a ton of persistence and repetition for those new neural connections to, to form, strengthen, and stay and for the old ones to actually die off. But those are the very first steps, like those are the very first you know, first ways in which we're like clearing the path to, to write a new, write a new story.
I mean, really that's what we're doing.
Jess: that's yin yoga. Are there any other, types of yoga that you have used in practice or have [00:22:00] seen to help with body image? Because, like, this yin seems more like you are, again, bringing awareness to your body and your thoughts about your body and being almost forced into it.
Sitting with your thoughts but in different positions and then being that gratitude list which I have a newfound appreciation for gratitude because, again, it's a, one of those buzzwords that people tend to shy away from. Like, oh yeah, like, I inherently know I should have a gratitude practice or whatever.
[00:22:30] And then it's like, I'm thankful for my dog, I'm thankful for coffee, I'm thankful for the fact that the sun rose this morning, and then they're done. And the point of that gratitude is, like, When you can actually slow down, I think that's, that would be my biggest point in this whole conversation thus far when we're talking about all of this, like, inner work and mindfulness and improving body image through, like, yoga and those things, I have the tendency to be the person that's like, okay, now what's the point?
Okay. Now, what am I getting out of this? Okay. I [00:23:00] have all these things to do. maybe identify as like type a like those like tendencies have gotten better. I have the tendency to be like that. And so, in reading these books about Buddhism and about these things, because gratitude gets brought up in that too, it's that being able to slow the F down and sit.
Sit in your body, sit in with your thoughts. And that gratitude is like, this is okay. I'm gonna use this example because it was like, I was sitting outside last [00:23:30] weekend and I was reading a book on our back deck and I have like my big Mason jar water cup and I had ice in it with like a Skittles flavored water packet.
And I'm reading about gratitude in this in this book. And they're talking about how. It's noticing those things that are like the anomaly of being alive in this universe at this time. Just the simple fact of like how insane that really is and then actually sitting to contemplate that. And so I'm like taking a sip of water and I'm looking down to the ice cubes and [00:24:00] looking at the water and like I can see the reflection of the trees behind me in this water glass as the water kind of ripples and I was like, This is mind blowing right now. Simply for the fact that I slowed down enough to be like, holy shit! being alive, being able to think and appreciate these things, to drink this water that literally tastes like red Skittles right now, that I have my dog sitting next to me, that I am alive in this time and I'm outside, like, this is amazing.
And that is the point of gratitude of, like, being able to [00:24:30] appreciate the sheer wonder of being alive. Being a speck in the universe and experiencing all these things. It's not trying to be like, okay, this is another box to check in my day. It's the purpose of it is like slowing down and being like, wow, I still have working hands. I got my nails done for my sister's wedding. And I was like, looking at my toes and I'm like, man, I have all of my toes. And they, they all work. Like, it seems really silly, but when you actually think about it, it's profound. there's my rabbit hole for you. I just, and it's [00:25:00] hard to, I think, especially as like we're recording right now and people are listening.
It's like, To impart that, hey, you live a really busy life. You're probably listening to this podcast on one and a half speed to get through it faster. You're probably driving or cooking or cleaning or doing something else while you're listening to this. But hey, it's actually worth it to slow down. How can you do that?
Rachel: Yes. Oh my gosh. That is literally so beautiful. I can relate to what you said a little bit earlier about like, you know, this like gratitude [00:25:30] being thrown out. And I remember also thinking like, okay, yeah, gratitude, like what, and this is, this is a newer part of my life as well.
I'm telling you this, like, it has literally changed my freaking life, like, it has, it has become a habit now a daily morning habit and I know that it has made, created shifts in my life, so first of all, like what's going on with that is when you do start to do that more on a regular basis, again, these [00:26:00] new neuronal connections are being formed, so your body's like, okay, Rachel's telling me, like, this is something she's putting her attention and focus on, and that builds The new connections and old ones die off.
And so like that starts to shift to become your default. And it's like, okay, why does that matter? Well, one is just beautiful to like, reflect on what you do have. And instead of Going through life from a place of lack, you're going through a place of abundance now, right? Like, you're already seeing all this that is [00:26:30] truly a miracle.
Literally, it's a miracle, right? Like, I have my ten fingers, too, and it's like, wow. Like, oh my god. I'm here again. Like, I, I get to express myself and live, live my day out how I want to yet another day. Like, that is a gift. And when it relates to the law of attraction, which I just like love this too, because gratitude is one of those high frequency states, like you will start to notice if this becomes a regular practice for you when you're at that high vibrational [00:27:00] state, that invites more of what you're grateful for into your life, right?
Because you're inviting, again, like, like frequencies attract like frequencies. You're inviting more abundance into your life and you will see that in so many different forms. it's such a powerful practice. Like I Gratitude for gratitude, man. I love it.
Jess: So talking about Gratitude and just this whole conversation. A lot of this is like us talking about inner [00:27:30] work, you talking about your shift away from clinical practice into more of the coaching and everything that that's encompassed to help women. What would you say, like, the value or benefits of inner work is, and what else does that look like to you?
Rachel: this is the thing, I feel like the majority of us as humans are going through life on autopilot. So that means we are doing these things, you know, going through the motions, saying these same things to ourselves, reacting to situations. you [00:28:00] know, subconsciously based on like programming epigenetically, genetically, socially, however that came about.
and that can be okay if you are happy with where you're at. But I would say in my experience, the great majority of of people, of women, are not content. They're not content with where they are, what they're doing, how they feel on, on, on average. And so this is the thing, this is the value in inner work, because we cannot depend on controlling our [00:28:30] external environment to make us feel, right?
This is very much an inside out work. This is very much that. And so again, as uncomfortable as it's going to be, and it is going to be uncomfortable to make those changes to face what you are feeling and look into why and look into how to go about changing that. You know, and it's an ever evolving process, but once you start that process, like, you won't go back This is how we move forward. This is how we [00:29:00] expand. this is the thing. I think we're here on this planet to live out your full expression, be your most authentic self, authentic self. And you can't do that without. Getting to know yourself, right? And that is, and that takes so much reflection and self awareness.
And so, you know, there's so many beautiful tools that we have access to that we just need to know about and know how to access them in order to start that process. Right. again, there is no arriving. So [00:29:30] it's not like, okay, I am healed today or I am now like fully aware of myself. No, like we are constantly going to be like falling off the tracks, like going off the rails.
That's totally normal. But that is, if we can do that, bringing compassion and kindness and gratitude to that, because those moments are there and they're there to serve as opportunities for us to grow, to continue pushing through. and so that's the value. The value is in that. It's [00:30:00] that we don't know how much time we have on this planet.
We have no idea if we're gonna die like in five minutes from now or ten years from now. And so, why not? Do what you want to do, create the reality you want to and a lot of times, like it's so interesting because like relationship to your body often is like the gateway into all of these other things, like at the root cause, it's, it's really self love and self worth.
And so it's what is your relationship to that? And so [00:30:30] by looking inward, through meditation and mindfulness yin coaching support, whatever that looks like for you, you know, that is your very first step. That is your very first step. it's your life, how do you want to live it?
Cause it's totally in your hands. It really is.
Jess: I think that's a really powerful piece of this, too, that when we are on autopilot, when we are just action reaction, following the to do list, checking the boxes, that we forget that we're actually in charge.
[00:31:00] we forget that we cannot control external circumstances, but We can control how we react to things and make our traces from there.
And that's, that's such a huge part of this.
Rachel: yeah, exactly. And that is what like, like mindfulness helps create that space so that you are no longer just reacting, right? So like, there's a difference between like reacting and responding. So reacting is like our immediate, like, something happened, whether it was like a conversation you have with someone or, you know, whatever.
And it's kind of like your [00:31:30] immediate, like, autopilot response, right? But when we practice mindfulness, when we start to slow things down and notice things as they come up, you are now in a place of control. It is a place of power for you to choose how you respond now instead of just reacting. And that's usually from a place of control.
when it is based out of mindfulness, that is now choosing to respond from a place of love instead of, fear or [00:32:00] stress. And that will naturally produce a result that you are likely to be more happy with, right? And, and the other person. Also receives that and it's a trickling effect as well,
Jess: okay. So I have like two more questions before we kind of wrap things up and this one might deviate a little bit, but I was just thinking most of this conversation, we've talked about a lot of the positives of noticing self talk of gratitude, of all of these positive things. Talk to me about how you handle negative self talk.
So we start paying attention to that [00:32:30] self talk and it is just an, you're being an absolute asshole to yourself at all times, Or there's certain circumstances that we're just not nice to ourselves. what do you, what do you say then?
Rachel: I mean this is the thing. again I didn't really talk about this, but like I had never before, I had never had a good relationship with my body for as long as I can remember. And the peak of that kind of hatred was in the peak of my like burnout and stress, which is not surprising now you know, in retrospect, so that had a very negative self talk, disempowering [00:33:00] self talk had a very strong presence in my life for a very long time. And it honestly, how I like really started to change from it was, It did actually start with mirror, mirror work with me, because before I could barely look at myself in the eyes in the mirror and not be like disgusted or like, you know, immediately want to grab, suck in, cover up whatever, some part of my body. And through some [00:33:30] tools that I was introduced to and now.
Promote for everybody to try. I think it really started there, Jess, like, because when I look from like, okay, it was so much negative talk, negative talk, negative talk, like, what was it that really created the shift? And not that there was no longer any more negative talk, but that it wasn't quite as prominent started with that, and that is looking at yourself in the mirror. Literally, I mean, eye contact and and a lot of people can't do this like [00:34:00] this is it's it's a very surprising thing because it seems so simple, right? Like I'm looking at myself in the mirror. say something empowering, something that resonates with you, whether that is like, I am confident, I am beautiful, I am worthy.
So really affirmation, positive affirmation work is also a huge component in this whole shift. In this whole transformation process. And a couple things on that, because I know people tend to have in my experience working with people, people tend to [00:34:30] have pretty strong reactions to affirmations, whether that's like, all right, let's do this or like, Oh, my God, like affirmations, they don't work.
But I've learned that it is. So much more than just words that you're saying because yeah, it is going to feel like a lie at first, you know, you're just like, I don't believe this. Like, that's totally normal. Because again, those are your old patterns kicking in. That is your old subconscious mind and survival brain being like, this [00:35:00] isn't familiar.
Like, no, we, we are comfortable in the, I look like shit today or those thighs, you know, like that, that's your comfort zone. And so it is again, uncomfortable, and it is going to feel like a lie. But once you are able to find an affirmation that resonates with you, that you're like, okay, yeah, that sounds more reasonable.
And you incorporate the aspect of feeling, because again, feeling is the language of the body. Thoughts are the language of the brain and [00:35:30] thoughts and feelings are what create behavior. So like we react and act in this world, Based on our feelings, our emotions. Like you'll notice that you can try reflecting on that during the day.
Like you'll, you'll notice like when you're feeling good, when you're happy and excited, what are you more likely to do, go out, be more active, and when you're feeling like slumpy and down, you're less likely to engage, you're less likely to tell your partner you love them, you know, like it, that affects your behavior.
So thoughts and the words and self talk [00:36:00] along with feeling both of those things. Need to go hand in hand. So, visualizing, okay, what would it feel like if I did believe this statement? Or if I was This person, right? So you're visualizing what it is that you want to feel be changed to and making that you're present in your body emotionally.
And so that, really kind of started the shift as far as like the negative and disempowering self talk [00:36:30] process, I
guess. Yeah.
Jess: Yeah, that's a big one. so I will say this just from an affirmations perspective. So I can appreciate a lot of what you're saying. I think for, for me, and from what I just sound like a nerd, like read and research about affirmations is when we start out with affirmations, we have to pick things that we believe.
We have to pick things that have a resonance of truth with them. So if we stand in front of the mirror and we are looking at our thighs. We are pinching the rolls on our stomach We are pushing at our flab on our arms like pinching the [00:37:00] skin underneath our chins Whatever it might be looking at how bigger noses or ears or whatever it might be and then we want to sit and we're gonna stand in front of the mirror and be like Man, I am gorgeous.
your brain's gonna be like uh, screw you, that's a gigantic lie because I've been hearing all of the things you've been saying about me. And so you have to come from a place of like, like you were talking about too, of the envisioning, like, How do I, like, what kind of person do I want to be?
How do I want to embody this? What kind of things do I want to feel about myself and working towards that? But the [00:37:30] place to start is the place of, I have to believe this. Because that gives you the first stepping stone in that process to be like, Okay, not everything about myself is bad, and then how much better can we work on those things?
And a lot of times you see affirmations come from a place of functionality versus appearance, and having those go a lot further than the appearance ones for a lot of it too.
Rachel: you're shifting the focus. Yeah. And it is, it just seems [00:38:00] more doable, right? When you are coming from like, you're hating on your body. Like love isn't the next step. it's acceptance. it's what can I appreciate about my body right now? And that's okay.
That is okay to start there because that already is, is it? A step forward. That's the thing. That already is a shift. if that's where it needs to be right now for you, yes. You
Jess: my gosh, we've covered so much.
Rachel: oh my god, I know. I feel like we just keep
going, Jess.
Jess: This is so good. I know. [00:38:30] So for, for you listeners, before we hit record, I made sure to ask what kind of time Rachel had for this today. And I was like, you know, I, I try to keep this like 45 minutes to an hour. Like I want to make sure that I'm respectful of time, but also I'm really good at going off on tangents. So now, now you've experienced it. A couple more questions for you. So, if you could choose one thing for the listeners to remember from our chat today, what would it be?
Rachel: I really think that it would be Maybe two things. First [00:39:00] of all, you have it in you to create a different reality if that's what you're looking for. and I think that's really important to remember because We all have access to this. We all have access to our innate power, wisdom, and a lot of times we're just disconnected from it.
We are, we're disconnected from it for whatever reason, right? Whether it is your work circumstance or a relationship or whatever, but it is always accessible to us. [00:39:30] and that is also where, where change starts. And so that is always accessible. If there is something that you are not happy with in your life, you can absolutely change it.
There are so many resources, tools, methods you know, we are here to support you. And so that is possible. I think the other thing is that. Your thoughts really do produce your reality. And so I think a lot of times there is this, like, I can't change my thoughts or like, yeah, like I can't change my [00:40:00] thoughts.
They just are there. But really You absolutely can again with tools, methods, strategies to work on that. It's amazing what results you can see from very simple changes.
Jess: You wonderful humans, you're capable of change. Believe it or not. Okay, a few wrap up questions. If you could pick one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Guacamole.
Rachel: Wait, what is yours?
Jess: Cookies.
Rachel: Oh, any, like, any specific kind?
Jess: [00:40:30] fresh baked chocolate chip. They gotta be, like, soft, gooey, and then maybe a little crispy on the outside. that's my
jam.
Rachel: that sounds amazing.
But guacamole is pretty high up there too.!
I'm telling you, girl, I cannot live without that food, so.
Jess: what is one activity that brings you joy and takes away attention from your body?
Rachel: Mmm, that takes attention away from my body.
Jess: right? I mean, that's the focus here, is instead of the activities that make you, like, pull at your clothes and feel awkward and uncomfortable, like, It could even be what [00:41:00] helps you to feel like, in your body and feel good and feel your best, right?
Rachel: maybe this is biased, but like, yin yoga, I, it has been such a game changer for me because you know, I was talking about this a little bit earlier about how my relationship to yoga has changed over the years and before it, very much solely was like a very physical I would almost call it like a superficial type reason for engaging in it.
You know, for like the. The toning aspect or the strength training [00:41:30] or, that component, but yin has absolutely nothing to do with that. Like it is very much. Man, I am just here. I am breathing. I am stretching into my body. Like it's, just a completely different relationship and it is like this space that I have learned to absolutely love and embrace and I'm so grateful for it. So yoga.
Jess: What is the number one book you have given or recommended?
Rachel: Oh my God. This one's so hard, Jess. so [00:42:00] my go to is A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. That book changed my life. And was the very first like introduction to mindfulness and being versus doing that created like a completely new world. I just, yeah, that created a whole different shift in my entire existence.
So, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, I recommend you dig
into it.
Jess: Perfect. And then, second to last. How do you take your coffee, tea, or morning beverage of choice?
Rachel: So I've actually always [00:42:30] despised coffee. As in, I just, I don't like, I've never liked the taste of it. I am so much more of an herbal tea person. I actually drink mate every day. Are you familiar with mate?
Jess: Yeah.
Rachel: So I drink my mate with chamomile and aniseed. That's my favorite. Yeah.
Jess: it's delicious. Okay, and the last question, where can audiences find you to learn more?
Rachel: Yeah. So, you can find me at my website, which is [00:43:00] tranquillopawellness. com. Yeah. Tranquillopawellness, LLC is my business
name.
Jess: can,
you spell that for the audience,
please?
Rachel: Yeah.
Jess: we'll have it in the show notes for sure, but
Rachel: Yeah, so that's T R A N Q U I L O P A,
wellness.
Jess: Thank you, friend. This was amazing.
Rachel: Yes, I love this and I love the space that you are creating for this, Jess. I think it's so amazing. I think it's so necessary. I love I love it [00:43:30] because, you know, this is a topic that actually often isn't brought up or it's hard for us to talk about our bodies and That's part of awareness is like just bringing this out as it is, right?
So thank you
so much for
what you do.
Jess: starting more of those conversations. I appreciate your time. This was amazing, and thanks for all of the tangents, too. Those are my favorite, always.
Rachel: Yes, I'm right there with you,
girl.
Jess: So good. Okay friends, thank you so much for listening to another episode of Sturdy Girl. We will catch you next Friday.