44. Essentialism and Purposeful Productivity with Life Coach, Melissa Lowe
In this episode, Jess and life coach, Melissa Lowe, delve into the essential strategies and tips for enhancing productivity. We explore various methods to optimize your workflow, manage your time effectively, and achieve your goals efficiently. Whether you're looking to boost your personal or professional productivity, this episode offers practical advice and actionable steps to help you succeed.
Connect with Melissa HERE.
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Jess: Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of Sturdy Girl. I have another wonderful interview guest for us today. Melissa, hello. Thank you for joining us.
Melissa: I am so happy to be here. Thanks for having me.
Jess: I'm glad this worked out. [00:00:15] I would love for you to introduce yourself. Tell me a little bit about what you do, who you are, whatever you'd like to share.
Melissa: Absolutely. So I am a math geek turned life coach. [00:00:30] And the way I got there was absolutely, I would actually say it's not only not a straight line, it's like a circular cyclone of events that led me here. I did not plan to be a coach. I hadn't a desire to be a coach, but.
God guided my [00:00:45] steps and some of it was pretty traumatic and, I just really am so thankful to be here. So I started out just like most women, working too hard, doing 60 hour weeks, you know, I hustling, I'm a mom, I'm a [00:01:00] wife and, just got stuck in that cycle. And I got to a point where I was super burnt out and I left my job with no plan, no job, no other job waiting for me either, which hashtag don't recommend.
But that was like the [00:01:15] beginning of a life change for me. when I was finding myself again, you ended up finding a lump under my arm. It turned out to be breast cancer um, which runs in my family. Cancer does run in my family. And that shifted my [00:01:30] whole world and the way I think about Life in general.
It was the wake up call that I needed and I Surrendered to God me and him or like we're working on our relationship and I Just tried to be more obedient and I said God if you save [00:01:45] me I'm going to be obedient and that's what I try to get up and do every day now and in that obedience it led me to Sharing and journaling publicly through my breast cancer treatment Which led me to having more conversations with women about slowing down [00:02:00] and, finding ourselves and evaluating life, really questioning like why we're here, what we want to do.
And one of those women actually was the one who said to me, Hey, you should think about coaching. And I laughed at her face then thought about it. She had planted a seed. And as the days went on, it didn't sound as [00:02:15] ridiculous. And I started to look into it, and here I am, working with women helping them not have to have a wake up call like the one that I did.
Cause it was severe, and I felt looking back on my life, there were times that God [00:02:30] was trying to speak to me in whispers, and in His normal voice, and I still wasn't listening. So He decided, okay, you're gonna need to shout? I can, I can shout. So I just don't want women to have to, you know, completely have to upend their lives to start making those [00:02:45] changes that help them live a fulfilled and like enjoyable life.
Jess: that's a lot. I mean, I just think about Even for myself and being busy and the things that are going on in my world, I really try to pay attention to that, I'm not going to call it balance, right, because do we really have balance, but the importance of [00:03:00] slowing down. The importance of taking time for ourselves and making sure that our cup is filled, because that burnout piece comes from just continually trying to pour from an empty cup.
And going and going and going. And the fact that, yeah, when you're like, okay, God had to [00:03:15] like, shout at me.
Because there are, there's those nudges, there's those little things that come up, and you're like, oh, it's fine, I'm just gonna do this other thing. Nah, yeah, I'm just gonna do this. Well, I'm working to support the family, and I'm working to do these things, and this is gonna further my career, and all of a sudden it's oh, [00:03:30] actually, your health is more important than your career.
Melissa: You don't even like the job you're in. You're chasing after a title because you want to look good to other people, right? It's like, those things that we're not really questioning, we're on this track and we're so focused on something, but we never stop to question, [00:03:45] Hey, is that the right thing for me?
Is that actually aligned with my values? That's why we need this space to think, you know, about what it is that we're actually doing with our time and our lives.
Jess: you were more in like the corporate world, right? okay. And to be able to have that shift now [00:04:00] and to work life coaching is just amazing. You're able to help people work through things that you did Without having it go to those extremes, right?
Melissa: yeah, absolutely. And it's funny because I'm still technically in the corporate world. So I still have a day job, but the kind of conversations that I [00:04:15] was able to have with my boss, even taking the job, I was like, I don't think I actually want to work for anyone again. This is in the interview. These are things I would never say in an interview, but because I had done so much work on myself and I was really clear about what I wanted in life [00:04:30] and what I didn't want.
I was in that interview like, no, I don't think, I don't think this is actually going to be a good idea. Like I've done this before. I don't really want to find myself back here again. And he asked me like, well, what do you want? Like, What would be good for you? I was able to clearly say, I want to be able to spend [00:04:45] time with my family.
I want flexibility at work, right? Like I was able to have a real honest conversation with somebody that I would have been too afraid to have a conversation with in the past. And now I have a job that is. super flexible, something I never thought I would be able to have. And he [00:05:00] knows about my coaching, help me with my certification and allows me to make time for coaching.
So we never know what's possible unless we have those kinds of conversations.
Jess: I'm just envisioning being in that interview and like, past you, or a [00:05:15] lot of us, if you were to say, so, actually, I don't think I want this job these are the things that are important to me right now, and the things that you're saying are important to you are are not the job, are not the things that you would be doing for work, and you're not saying, I am willing to give my life, blood, and soul to this job.
You're saying, [00:05:30] no, this serves a purpose. And my main purpose is my family and my coaching and that purpose and most jobs, most employers, they want to hear that you want that job. So I just, this shift that you went through where you were comfortable enough in yourself and [00:05:45] your needs and your priorities to be able to put that first. That's huge.
Melissa: Yeah. I mean, looking back on it, I think a lot of people would think it's not. But I think there's something to be said about in that interview, and I talked to my boss about this all the time, I could tell that you had integrity, [00:06:00] that, you know, you were committed so he wasn't looking at technically the fact that I wasn't all about the role that he putting out there.
It was more like, well, what kind of person am I hiring? And he looked more at my values. And I still do, I [00:06:15] do really great work for the organization because that's just the kind of person I am. But I think it's one of those things where I would love to change even how we interview people and what we look for like, we do that when we're hiring when I'm interviewing people for the roles that are coming into [00:06:30] our, I'm thinking more about, like, how are you going to fit in with the team?
What kind of person do you have? What are your values? You know, not necessarily only what you can do. Because we've seen that we've seen like people who are very capable people, but don't have integrity, how that story ends. So I [00:06:45] think that says something about the organization, if they're willing to listen to you and see who you are and say, you know what, I like this.
I like that she's honest and committed and, you know, forthright. And we could do something with that.
Jess: here are your values and your [00:07:00] character coming through. Yeah, side tangent going here, but the interview process and talking about how you ask questions I just think about how much the job force has shifted since the pandemic. We were at a restaurant last weekend and they were talking about how much the [00:07:15] employees and behaviors and things have shifted. So you're seeing it across multiple industries, not just my own, is There is a value that employees are placing on their own lives over the job, for better, for worse.
I mean, you have people that call out with no notice [00:07:30] or those kinds of things, but it's also the people who are realizing like, Work's not everything, the shift that's coming with that, so I was just thinking of that trickling down from being at the job to that interview process, is we have to change the way we interview.
It's not the, okay, tell me about a challenge you faced and how you [00:07:45] overcame it, okay tell me where you see yourself in five to ten years, okay, tell me all your qualifications for this job, There are other questions to be asked now. Yeah.
Melissa: And when I interview people, all the people who work with me. Um, That I have [00:08:00] brought on. I know so much more about their lives, I know so much more about their dreams, and it's not about us hoarding them forever. It's how can we make this mutually beneficial and fun? I want you to enjoy working here.
I want [00:08:15] to get to know you as a person and help you grow. that's what work should be, right? Developing each other instead of, Oh, well, you have to make X dollars because a lot of that stuff isn't even in our control, right? If you can get the most out of someone because you [00:08:30] respect them, you give them flexibility, you allow them to be themselves and be honest, right?
Like There's something to be said about allowing people to just be themselves. I think that you're going to get so much better quality work out of that person and a different level of [00:08:45] commitment. Then you know the person who looks good on paper, but doesn't have the values that you're looking for.
Jess: Well, I just think too, when the employer actually cares. So when you're like, yeah, I come out of this interview process and we hire someone and I know this person and their lives and their values, that [00:09:00] shows that you care. And that's not something that a lot of employers I think are used to having to do, or like, depending on the organization where it's like, okay, do you fit the qualifications for the job and our schedules align?
Okay, cool.
Whereas having that one step further, mean, I can speak to that [00:09:15] in dentistry. I've worked for doctors where maybe the practice was decent, but when they don't care about anyone that they work with and the dollar is the bottom line to them,
people don't last long and they don't value their work.
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Melissa: You feel it. You can't fake it. You can't fake it So you're going to give what you [00:09:30] receive or, you know, the environment is set and you show up to match that. So we need to create more nurturing, caring, energizing, inspirational environments for people to be themselves and then check them when they're not.
I think it's more simple than it is, but there, I know [00:09:45] there's nuance to it.
Jess: For sure. So do you, with your life coaching stuff, do you do any kind of career coaching? I feel like we just went on this like career discussion funnel and I'm like, wait, that's not necessarily you work with moms, right? That's kind of your, your focus. So [00:10:00] talk to me about what kind of moms come to you.
what kind of things are they struggling with that you help with? Where's your zone of genius?
Melissa: oh my goodness that term. Oh, man. I think for me I'm a problem solver And I really [00:10:15] love brainstorming. So the kinds of moms who come to me are the ones who are overwhelmed I don't have time for anything else. Like I'm done. I want to let go of everything because I feel like I'm not doing anything well and I need some help.
And as much as they are [00:10:30] actually doing the one thing they're consistently not doing is taking care of themselves. So it could be as we think of self care as like. massages and nail appointments but they're not making like doctor's appointments, you know, like like Taking care of their health.
They're not eating [00:10:45] lunch these are like the basic things that a lot of us are not doing because We're just focused so much on other people. So I like to take a lot of the tools that I've learned in the business industry. I am a data analyst, so I love analyzing things. [00:11:00] I love like coming up with solutions.
And I also am a certified project management professional. So scheduling is something that I understand and have done a lot of. So I bring those tools to like our personal lives. I'm like, listen, this has worked. in corporate America for decades, [00:11:15] you know, so let's bring this level of professionalism and strategy to our home lives.
that's really what I do. And, the intention is to create more intentional living in the home starting with the [00:11:30] mom, because I do feel like If you can get the mom to be more peaceful, to, you know, slow down and love herself a bit more, then the whole home, the entire family will be stronger for it.
Jess: Yeah, absolutely. I think it was in [00:11:45] your initial application, you talked about purposeful productivity as being a big piece of this, and I, this ties in really nicely actually, I'll just have you tell me about purposeful productivity, because I'm like, I have thoughts, but I want to hear it from you
Melissa: so we are all busy [00:12:00] and we're busy doing lots of things, but you know, as we talked about essentialism,
Jess: Oh, yes, let's get to that for sure.
Melissa: no, this is a great segue though, because one of the things is. What's stuck with me is that all effort is not created equal. And if we think about [00:12:15] that, it really is like an epidemic, right? Like we're putting out so much energy and we're doing all of these things, but it may not be producing fruit.
So many of us go to sleep at night thinking, I didn't do enough today or I didn't get anything on my to do list on, you know? And [00:12:30] it's like, how is that happening day after day after day? And it's because we're exhibiting effort. We're putting a lot of effort towards activities, towards busyness, but those might not be the quality activities, the activities that really move the needle, the things that really align with your values, that really [00:12:45] matter to you and your family.
And So we're choosing these like non essential activities throughout our day and we're getting non essential output, So, yeah, I think that's kind of like what purposeful productivity is being [00:13:00] intentional about how you spend your time and making sure it's alignment with your values. And, it sounds easy, but it's not because it's a continuous thing.
it's not a one time thing and, and it requires reflection. It requires space. It [00:13:15] requires all the things we don't want to do and that we're being trained to not do because of like social media and, you know, things that steal our attention and make us Want those like hits of dopamine all the time?
Slowing down just seems like the last [00:13:30] thing we want to do and we've tricked ourselves into thinking like it's going to make me Less efficient where it really is like a guiding principle for everything that you need to do And really be productive in the life that you want
Jess: It's slow down to speed [00:13:45] up in some ways. this is where my brain is going with some of this. And when you initially started telling your story earlier my preface is I'm not necessarily religious. I was raised religious and so, the utmost respect for your relationship with God and all of that, like there's, I [00:14:00] have been down a rabbit hole of Buddhism recently.
so, Buddhism weirdly is connected to a lot of body image research. So that's kind of how my like rabbit hole started with it. But one of the pieces of that is like mindfulness and meditation, which for for some people is [00:14:15] prayer or just any way you want to look at it. It ends up coming down to being able to slow down long enough to sit with your thoughts.
To sit with yourself and let the rest of the noise of the world fade away. To recognize, how am I [00:14:30] doing? How am I feeling? Okay, can I take a big deep breath because somehow I've been breathing so shallow all day long. And Wow, I am really stressed about about that conversation I had this morning and This thing happened and wow and you start to feel those things finally come up because you've [00:14:45] slowed down long enough to say like What do I need?
I'm not really sure, but I need this space. And so when you're talking about moms and the overwhelm, I, I don't have kids yet, but we have a number of friends who do and, seeing the busyness that comes from that, the [00:15:00] overwhelm, all of the, the different moving parts there. That ability to just have a few quiet moments is legit self care.
Like I think of it in that way where you're like, it's not massages, it's making sure that you schedule your own doctor's appointments and dental appointments. it's [00:15:15] taking the time to have five minutes to say, okay, big, deep breath. I got up with enough time for quiet time for myself, or maybe it's the end of the day, right?
Like you're able to create that space. And so that's what I keep thinking about in this. I'm like, This makes a lot of sense.
that [00:15:30] reflection piece of productivity is, let me tie this back with productivity and like the space to think or be alone with our thoughts, which is.
terrifying for a lot of people is then it allows you to, I don't know if I want the word reflect or get clear on, well, what's [00:15:45] actually important. Like you said, being able to pull it back to your values, because I'll tell you for me, I work full time. I coach and I have this podcast. I love all the things that I do in my world, but I have to be very purposeful on what is most important to me.
[00:16:00] Where can I move things around so that this makes more sense? Okay. I have to take a day every single week that does not have this productivity attached to it, but I only can get clear on that when I slow down enough. And instead of being like, Oh, this thing, Oh, this thing, Oh, [00:16:15] jump all over here. And okay.
All these 27 emails and messages from clients. And, and, and, and, and you're like, okay. Slow down, step back. what do I have to get done right now? What can wait? Are you going to bed on time?
Melissa: Yes. Are you getting enough sleep? that's a whole other [00:16:30] thing. But the other tricky thing about productivity Is that for a lot of women and moms, we tie our worth to our productivity, and that's where it gets dangerous.
if we're not doing this, then we're [00:16:45] not doing well, we're not successful, we're not good enough.
And then It's the antithesis to rest, right? That's why we don't want to go to bed on time. That's why we don't want to take a vacation days off, like actually take them off because we're going to fall [00:17:00] behind and then, you know, we're not going to be seen as worthy and doing a great job in the eyes of our family or, or, corporations.
So we need to like. Detach ourselves from the things that we do. It's you do these things, but you are this person who is worthy of love, [00:17:15] who's worthy of rest, who's worthy of attention. And we need to like, we need space in order to like, separate our actions from who we are.
Jess: Absolutely. and I think even when you learn those skills and I'm sure you've probably seen this in your coaching, you still have to combat [00:17:30] that attachment to productivity forever and always.
Melissa: Yes.
Jess: It is wild to me I'm like, man, I've done so much work on this. Like I feel really good. I know that I'm a good human, like reassuring.
And then there are days that come up and I'm like, I only crossed one thing off my to do list. Like I can't go to [00:17:45] bed yet. This is, Oh, I feel so guilty. And then you stop yourself and you're like, what? how did we get right back here?
Melissa: Yep.
Jess: have you ever read um, weeks.
Melissa: I haven't yet. It's on my list.
Jess: that's one of those when you talk about like productivity, the to do list, the dopamine hit. the [00:18:00] premise of this book more or less is like we, on average, have 4, 000 weeks to live.
Realistically, the to do list is never, ever empty. So why waste so much energy on stressing about finishing the to do list?
You know, what are you doing with those remaining [00:18:15] weeks of your life? it's really good. I really enjoyed it. Along the same lines of like, essentialism and how much there were small things that were so applicable to be like, Okay, this is what I'm remembering from this book. Okay.
Melissa: Now, it reminds me of an [00:18:30] article I read about Bronnie Ware. She wrote, Five Regrets of the Dying, She was a home health nurse, or she was a nurse at a facility where people go in their last days and she would have conversations with them and she just started to notice patterns [00:18:45] and you know, the top regret of the dying is that they didn't get to be who they really wanted to be.
It just wasted so much time living for other people and it just comes back to not reflecting, right? You can be so [00:19:00] focused on going down a certain path and thinking this is the right thing to do. And, and for all really good reasons, like I love my family, I want them to be comfortable. So that means I have to work hard and I have to get this promotion and, you know, all of those things.
But at the end of the day, it's what's really [00:19:15] truly going to make you happy. What's your definition of success and redefining that. And I think redefining it for motherhood too. When you talked earlier about, you know, moms. Being like so sacrificial. We get praised for that though, you know, so that's why [00:19:30] it's like a cat 22 It's wait a minute when I tell people i'm tired.
They're like, yes I know you work so hard girl you know, and it's like you get all the empathy you get all the But that's what moms are expected to do So, if you are resting too much, if they see too many pictures of you [00:19:45] getting massages, or, you know, going on trips to relax yourself, they're gonna be like, hmm, she's not with her family as much as she should be, What's going on there? And we start judging each other, as opposed to nudging each other in the direction of, You need to get rest. You need to be well. So [00:20:00] it's a, you should check out the, at least the article first, and then you could always read the book, but it's exactly what I went through with breast cancer.
It's like you think you're going to die and life gets crystal clear, crystal clear job. Doesn't matter title. I was working my [00:20:15] tail off for doesn't actually matter. What matters is my family, the people who I love. Very few were actually going to miss me. when you go through treatment, you realize that yes, there are people, other people who love you and care about you, but they're not even necessarily even calling you every day, There are people who are [00:20:30] crying every day because you are not well, and you need to be very clear about, okay, if I only had like, you say, those. 4,000 weeks, which we do. What do I really want my life to be like? How can I really live a full life? And that [00:20:45] may not actually look like the life that you're living.
And that's what happened to me. And it can feel morbid at times, but I'm very thankful for the perspective that I have now of my God. We have such, such a limited amount of time, let's try to live it to the [00:21:00] fullest.
Jess: think that's fantastic and it makes me think too.
The limited time that we have on earth like One other piece of Buddhism that I was been reading about recently that has really stuck with me, and I actually, there's a book called The Comfort Crisis that my poor listeners have [00:21:15] heard me just go on about in so many episodes, but there is a portion of the book that they talk about How this certain section of Buddhism and I think Buddhism as a whole does as well, but they make it a point to contemplate death. So no matter if you believe in life [00:21:30] after death or reincarnation or whatever the heck it is, at some point, this being and body as we know it, Will no longer exist. And so they make it a point to contemplate that because then you don't fear death And we don't live our lives thinking that we are immortal that we're [00:21:45] going to live forever and it makes every moment that much more Not necessarily important but precious and that understanding of well, what really matters?
What really matters if I know that I'm 34 years into my 80 ish year on average lifespan What the heck am I gonna do with the rest of my [00:22:00] time? That aligns with who I want to be and my values. it's so interesting to me because there is there's a tendency at least I'm gonna say in the United States There are a lot of other cultures that do have Conversations around death and yes, there's so much shying away from death and conversations [00:22:15] around Aging, and all of those pieces, whereas in that Comfort Crisis book, they talk about in the country of Bhutan, they actually celebrate those that die.
And they celebrate their lives, and they celebrate them moving on to the next thing. And so it's just such an interesting [00:22:30] perspective to utilize that in a day to day of Yeah, it's kind of amazing that I'm alive right now, and it's not forever. which, okay, this one other little side tangent, and then I do want to talk about essentialism.
When I like saying like our values and what we want out of life, how [00:22:45] often with your coaching clients, do you start talking about what do you want out of life or what kind of person do you want to be?
Or what values do you have and have your client give you like such a blank look? I have no idea. No one's asked me that. It's such [00:23:00] a, Common thing for conversations. I have our conversations, especially because I have a couple of podcast episodes on defining your core values or one of them on working on body image where it's, Hey, you have to get clear on what kind of person you want to be
so that we can look at what [00:23:15] qualities do they display?
What kind of life do you want to live? Otherwise you're just responding to external stimuli to adjust yourself on who you like, how you're acting and how you're responding. And that piece for people because they're like, How do I even begin to think about that? Who do I, who do I want to be? What do I [00:23:30] value?
Melissa: it's interesting that you ask because as I was working with moms, I realized that there were a lot of questions and myself as well. I have a daughter, she's eight now, but she would ask me questions about me and I would not know the [00:23:45] answer. And as I worked with more moms, I started realizing, oh, this is not just a me thing.
I could answer any question about my husband, my son, my daughter, even my mom, and I struggle. She was like, what's your favorite color? I could not tell you what my favorite [00:24:00] color was. it was so sad. And I know that we're talking about values, but there's like basic things that we don't know about ourselves anymore.
Especially after we become moms. It's like, None of that matters anymore. I no longer am a person. I'm a mother and [00:24:15] therefore my whole job, my whole existence is to worry and take care and encourage other people. And that's one part of your job, but you still get to be a person. So as our first conversation, when I start working with someone is when we talk about.
What's important to them? Like, [00:24:30] why did you come to me? Because there's a reason that you even click that, call button to sit down with a coach, right? And there's so many moments, and I love these moments when you hear someone kind of start to verbalize that and they say [00:24:45] themselves. I've never even said that out loud before.
And it's so powerful. it's like one of my favorite things. Because we don't have enough safe spaces to even say what we want to not be perfect, to not have it all together [00:25:00] and not have it all figured out. And I think that value piece is like more than just a one time thing. It is a digging that is going to have to happen over time.
But I love having those conversations very early on, if not the first conversation, the second. And we're talking about, [00:25:15] like, it's not just what you want to do with your life, it's who do you want to be? Why do you think you're here? what kind of legacy do you want to live for your kids that's not financial?
and that's a good way to think about it too, is usually all the things we want for our kids are all the things that we're probably not doing and really want for [00:25:30] ourselves. So those things that we're telling our kids constantly, that's why I think we grow the most as parents, is because you're technically being a hypocrite every day.
You're like, you know you're supposed to take out your clothes at night, and I didn't take my clothes out at night. You know you're supposed to make your [00:25:45] bed in the morning, and my bed is not made. You know, so it's like constantly tugging at you like, I don't want to be a hypocrite. And when they get older, kids are like, They start calling you out like, Mom, your, your bed's not made either, you know? So I think it's really important for us to talk [00:26:00] about those values and, just allow ourselves to grow in that way. But in coaching, if you're not talking about values, like first, second conversation, then, you know, I would say find a different coach.
Jess: It's so important and like you said it's a digging it's a freaking [00:26:15] excavation especially as a mom. If you don't even know who you are, what you're, because you have put your kid or your kids first, your family first, because that's what we've been taught that we're supposed to do. And you lose this sense of identity.
And so, like you said, when you're like, I don't even know what [00:26:30] my favorite color is,
or when you're like reactionary like, no, I just grabbed these clothes. Cause I know the stretchy waistband, like fits. I don't know what I, I don't know what kind of clothes I actually like to wear. I have no idea. binding those things to find.
yourself and who you like, because I think about [00:26:45] examples of people that I looked up to growing up. And they were people who had a strong sense of self or strong sense of what they were interested in and those pursuits to tell me like, Oh, I want to have my own interests too. Okay. [00:27:00] And, and seeing that, so those examples, because our kids are like sponges.
And so they're going to see how you are taking care of or not taking care of yourself.
Melissa: Yes. And that's the example you want to lead, which is why I created a journal. again, I didn't set out to create a [00:27:15] journal, but it's something that I realized, man, moms don't have a space to just be themselves, to have kind of a directory of who they are. And my journal is all based on lists, like list building.
it's a top 10 list for each category. And there's 30 different [00:27:30] categories that don't have to be done every day, because I have. I hate when someone tells me like, you have to journal every single day. You don't have to. Okay? Like. you know, you do want to find journaling, almost like dating.
You want to date some different journaling types and see what [00:27:45] works for you. But yeah, I designed a journal to help moms love themselves, get to know themselves a bit more, and have fun in the process, because we're all familiar with writing gross grocery lists and to do lists and, you know, different packing lists.
So I was like, okay, lists? Moms know lists. [00:28:00] So we could, get down with that. So that's, that's why I did that. Cause I, I just realized like, you know what, and we need like a super easy entree into journaling and creating that space that doesn't feel overwhelming or like another job for moms.
Jess: Absolutely. That's so cool that [00:28:15] you created that as a resource because I've journaled since third grade. my
first journals were black paper with gel pens, like glitter gel pens, I know, it was like all the craze and just have kept journaling, and so I'm one of those people that have never [00:28:30] needed journal prompts, because my journal time is just word vomit,
process.
And then reorganize what I've just word vomited to be like, okay, this is how I'm doing. okay, we've, we flushed this out a little bit, kind of like that, like mindfulness piece of slowing down to figure out what's going on in our [00:28:45] brains. But knowing a lot of people who haven't journaled and starting that process, where the heck do you start?
Like I've thrown out we did a mini episode a couple of seasons ago on like journal prompts that work really well, or more or less the prompts that I do with myself without thinking about it. So I [00:29:00] love that because that gives just, I'm laughing over it being lists because it is so true. We are all so familiar and comfortable with lists.
So what a great way to just segue right into that, to make it work for people.
Melissa: Yeah, thank you. Again, I'm very big on like setting [00:29:15] the bar low so people can like over it, you know, and it doesn't like overwhelm you because we are, we have enough of that going on.
Jess: and then when you, you create that win, and then it's easier to do it again and do it again. And suddenly you're like, Oh, this journal thing. [00:29:30] Yeah, I got this.
And you have this certain level of. Self advocacy and self trust and building that relationship with self. I love that.
Melissa: journaling really changed my world, but the way I started was unconventional too. Oh, we should keep this going because if [00:29:45] I, I have good energy around it, I'm more likely to do it and build a habit of doing it. and that's, that's the point is to, I think, be more creative about the way we solve our problems and not think that we have to do them a certain way or like anyone else is doing it.
Jess: Yeah, absolutely. You said [00:30:00] unconventional way to start journaling. How was that?
Melissa: Well, I started journaling publicly when I was doing chemo. I was journaling publicly on Instagram and, I didn't realize that I wouldn't have called it journaling at the time. I just thought, I was like, I'm just gonna share. I'm just gonna [00:30:15] share what's going on because I was looking for, I was trying to get myself prepared for chemo and I didn't see anyone who looked like me really being honest about what it was like.
I was like, you know, if I'm going to go through this, I'm just going to put it out there. I was sharing a lot more than just like, here's what's [00:30:30] happening. It was a lot of like, here's how I'm feeling about what's happening. And that's what really got me into journaling.
Jess: it gives you a sense of you're sharing to let other people know, especially maybe people who are going through similar things, that they're not alone. [00:30:45] that's such a big deal to put that out there. And so vulnerable for you to, to share that through that process. But I'm sure people appreciate it because I I've seen a number of people go through cancer and you just see the posts about being a warrior and being strong [00:31:00] and like, we're pushing through and I've got all this family support and not the days when they're like, I cried myself to sleep last night because I'm so overwhelmed.
Melissa: we need to show more than just one side. We need to show more than just, I've reached the top of the mountain. I really am in favor of [00:31:15] showing the struggle, not just showing the struggle, but having really deep conversations about the struggle. So every so often I will have like mom groups, working moms come together and we just share honestly about what's going on.
What's going on with us. And it's not about Melissa being the coach. [00:31:30] I'm there sharing, honestly, too. And I'm encouraging other women to, if you're great at your relationship stuff, Hey, tell us what you're doing, so it's really us supporting each other. And I just want to facilitate more of that, but it does start with a safe space, [00:31:45] right?
Where people feel like they can generally share.
Jess: that's awesome to have those support groups because I just keep thinking of the phrase, it takes a village, especially in parenthood. And it just, it's so important to have. That village for help and support and then also like I think of this on the other side [00:32:00] where again I don't have kids, but I was with a few of the moms last weekend And one of them was like I was like complaining about their partner and I don't want to say Oh, they were whining about them or anything, but in such a way that For me, and then we started the conversation, it made me feel a lot less alone.
there [00:32:15] aren't a lot of conversations around how hard it is to sustain a marriage long term. And keep it healthy while trying to keep yourself healthy and take care of you and take care of each other and all of that. And so it was, it was a sharing of a struggle in a way that I was like, Thank you. [00:32:30] Because I've been going round and round with my husband recently in a way that was like, is this okay? Am I failing? Is this? And I'm like, no. Okay. So and then it created this safe space for us to have a conversation of like Hey, you're not alone. And here are things like some of the other women have been married [00:32:45] a lot longer than my husband and I have.
And they're like, here, this is what's worked for us in times like this. Maybe try these things. And you're like, oh, okay. And it helps you to start getting the wheels turning and know like, no, your marriage isn't failing.
You're just two people with different communication styles, right.
And learning to [00:33:00] work together.
Melissa: you can't get that advice without being honest. Right. And I think so many of us are suffering in silence because we don't know how to share. We don't know if we should share. We don't know if it's safe enough to share [00:33:15] and so we have the term self care, And I think that there is a lot of value in that term, but I also would love us to talk more about community care, which is what you're talking about. The village moms need that too. They need communities. So one of the [00:33:30] things that I work with my clients on is helping to build a community. Not everyone lives in a place where they have family.
I need you to start going to a mom group, making friends, saying hi to women in the grocery store, you know, like being open to [00:33:45] creating that community because you need You do need it, and I think you need it, in order to have that type of support that you're talking about. I mean, it's not just child care, it's just such a big part of the conversation that we don't talk about [00:34:00] enough.
yes, moms always have to be there, always have to be on. how, how pray tell is she gonna have that time to go and do some of the things that she needs to do? It's not practical. also with work, right? We need to talk about how corporate America supports working moms, [00:34:15] you know?
So, self care is great, and I love self care. I think it's needed, you can't talk about it in a box. Some of these other things need to happen in order to help that, and I'm very open about that, and I, I promote moms making connection. I mean, I, [00:34:30] even in the journal, when you get the journal and it's packaged, there's a postcard in it, and that postcard, there's two cards.
There's an affirmation card in there that is each one of the 30 titles, but they read as affirmations. It's just a reminder for you of the things that you [00:34:45] should be focusing on and I don't ever want you to forget so you lose yourself again. But then there's another postcard in there and it's for you to write a note and mail to a friend or mail to someone that maybe you haven't connected with in a long time.
Because it's not, self care isn't just about you at [00:35:00] home, journaling by yourself, staying by yourself, internally. It's also about making connection. That is a way that you nurture yourself as well.
Jess: that's so cool, to show that importance of, I think that's a misconception with self care sometimes, is the journaling solo and time by [00:35:15] yourself and that can make people feel like, oh, this self care is selfish, but it's saying, how do I take care of me, and how important that community is, the friendships, the connections, because we're not meant to be alone, we're not meant to do life alone, And knowing you have that support, [00:35:30] yeah, most of my close friends do not live in Portland with me.
And so, it's those connection points. I love to send voice memos to my friends. I was walking the dogs last night. After a workout. So it's later in the evening and my friends are like, we call them private podcasts you got a [00:35:45] voice memo from me for like 10pm last night, but you know, listen to it whenever you want
Melissa: And it's like
13 minutes long.
Jess: Oh, 100%.
Yeah. And who knows? I mean, we talked about side tangents. I mean, I'm sure it just looks like a long meandering path of conversation. But then they catch up and they know Here's what's going on in my world, [00:36:00] friend. Thinking of you. Respond when you have time. And then it's like a week later and I get their response and it's great because we joke we take notes when we listen to the, these voice
memos. I mean, but that's the reality of being busy humans and not being able to necessarily connect And we used to try and get on [00:36:15] FaceTime dates regularly, which it's great to see someone's face and do it. But sometimes there are seasons of life that you're just like, all right, you get private podcasts.
Melissa: But that's you being creative. And I think you've seen the beauty and the value of thinking outside the [00:36:30] box and saying to myself, okay, well, what's the point? The point is for me to stay connected with my friends. It's not to always do it a certain way. And I love doing that with, and for my clients like, come on, like, how can we have fun with this?
and you look forward to that. I could just [00:36:45] hear the joy in you thinking about those. Podcast that you have with your friends. It's like that's what we need to do more of we need more creativity.
Jess: Yeah, exactly. Okay. Can we come off our tangents and go back to essentialism because we touched on a little bit when we were talking about purposeful [00:37:00] productivity, but that essentialism piece, because I have read that book probably three times. It is a book that I send to my one on one clients when we first start working together.
because people will come to me and I coach on endurance, on strength, lifestyle things, [00:37:15] nutrition we have all of these different pieces. And so when someone's like, you know, I want to run and lift and let's work on nutrition, let's do all these things. I'm like, okay, okay, good. We start in one place.
And then we work up from there. So here's the book that's going to help you understand that
Melissa: Yeah. I love that you send that as a [00:37:30] foundation to how you coach. I might steal that joe. I like that a lot
Jess: do it.
Melissa: Yeah, so I I don't even remember how I found that but I probably was listening to another podcast And I was so surprised after reading the book that like that. He's not more well known because I thought it was [00:37:45] just a life changing, but I told my husband was like, I think I need to read this book every single year because you make changes in your life again.
You fall down and then you come back to the book and you're like, oh, okay. Yes, I need to refresh on these things. I think you use the word earlier pursuit. [00:38:00] Right. And I love that. He defines essentialism as the pursuit, the discipline pursuit of last rate. And that pursuit is like you are chasing after that and I love that the it's more active Because it is it is a choice.
It [00:38:15] is a decision that you have to make To figure out what are you going to work on and what you're not going to devote your time to and it's not easy, right? So it is absolutely worth it so what would you like to talk about in terms of essentially because i'm like [00:38:30] there's so much there
Jess: Yeah. Maybe just an easy conversation on like where people might start with essentialism. Cause you, so you've defined it where we talked about it's being essentialist, like the discipline pursuit of less, but what does that mean? And what does that [00:38:45] look like? if you had someone where you're like, let's start talking about this practice of essentialism.
Melissa: that's a good question, I think that
You'd have to start with creating space. I think which is what we were talking about today So I guess we were talking about [00:39:00] essentialism
Jess: And that's kind of what I was like, we're coming back to it, but I'm going to call it essentialism and we'll just like be specific now.
Melissa: Yeah, I mean in the coaching world. We have the wheel of life, And it's a wheel and it's kind of split into these little pie wedges or pizza pie [00:39:15] Wedges and each wedge is a different category of your life And I think it's a really good starting point because you score each slice of life with a number between zero to 10.
And I think it gives a really good picture of where you are and where in [00:39:30] your life needs some attention. but in order to do something like that, you do need to reflect and to slow down enough to really think about, Oh, well, how am I doing in my marriage? How am I doing my spirituality?
how am I doing in my health and be honest about [00:39:45] that? So I would say starting with the space and an activity where you kind of just like level set. All right. how am I feeling and how am I doing today? And maybe put a visual to that, I think could be really helpful. And then I like to give people quick wins.
So [00:40:00] whenever mom starts working with me I like her to start accomplishing something and showing her how she can do that. Now, it's not in the book specifically, but I'm a big fan of time blocking because I think it is a visual representation of like how much time we [00:40:15] actually have versus all the things we want to do and all the things we think are important and it I think it's a good activity that kind of shows you what essentialism is in practice. Yes, I have a to do list of 100 things. But I have eight hours [00:40:30] available and five hours of those are meetings already and one hour of those I have to make dinner So I really only have two hours to do That list of a hundred things and i'm expecting myself to do today if we were to assign that time And [00:40:45] look through your list and truly say okay Well the way I like to ask my clients this it may be a little unconventional, but I say What on this list if you were to do it and help you feel lighter and I think that's a little bit more tangible way as opposed to asking people when I ask people like [00:41:00] well, what what's your priority?
there's a little bit of a detachment with that word, right? And it's like priority for who you know, depending on who you think needs something from you right now But I ask like what would make you feel lighter what would just ease your shoulders and ease your [00:41:15] tension You answer comes a lot easier and then putting those on a calendar and asking yourself questions like, how long is that going to take?
Like those things I think is really like a form of practicing essentialism, which is what are the essential items, the things that are [00:41:30] going to, Give me movement and progress in the areas of my life that truly matter versus I'm looking at everything on this list saying everything is equal. It's not and Then also understanding that I am probably going to have [00:41:45] to remove a lot of these non essential items too, and being okay and doing the work to start to release some of that or delegate some of that to somebody else. And you know, back to the 4, 000 weeks, like we have X amount of time. What are you going to do with that time to really fuel [00:42:00] you and also help you feel more fulfilled?
Jess: I love that. the essentialism part of that is just finding out what's most important to you. So we were going back to taking the time to understand, well, what do I want out of life? What is actually important? What are my [00:42:15] values? It's been a hot second since I've read essentialism. So this is just me ad libbing a little bit, but I mean, it really comes down to that.
Cause I, I think about, I think it's on the cover of essentialism, the little circles With the arrows coming off them of okay, if I had this circle and this circle is the effort [00:42:30] I have to give on any given day, if I put my energy towards one thing, that arrow is really long. But if I divide the length of that arrow into 10 different sections for the 10 things I'm trying to make progress on, my progress is going to be a lot [00:42:45] slower.
and I think of that so often. So the first time I read Essentialism, it was pre pandemic, and I was an ambassador for six different brands. So like, social media posts a couple times a month, talking about them on Instagram stories, and doing all these things, and it was like [00:43:00] a supplement brand and a jewelry brand and a, I don't even remember what else at this point.
And the first time I read this book, and I was like, What am I doing? This isn't furthering anything I want. I just got caught up in the well, this is what like people on social media are doing. And maybe I could [00:43:15] make a few extra dollars or something like that. And I think I did. I mean, I think I was able to like make some extra income . And then reading that book and realizing like, This isn't worth it. My time is so much better spent elsewhere. And that's really when I started to put more energy [00:43:30] into my coaching because I took away the energy that I had been spending on creating all these social media posts and content and blog posts,
all the things onto how do I actually myself and my skills and how can I help people.
And so I think That's what essentialism is, is [00:43:45] figuring out, well, what the heck is actually important.
Melissa: and aligns with you naturally, energy is so important in this conversation. you know, like you said, there are some people who social media that's their thing. they can go out there and they love making the posts and making the reels and all that stuff. Like I [00:44:00] just deleted Instagram, like for the sixth time, last week.
And I'm like, girl, that is not for you. It doesn't make you feel great. You know, that's not where your time and attention need to be. And I've boiled it down to, anything that has to do with having conversations, deep [00:44:15] conversations with people or writing, that's what I need to be doing. And if it's not that, I'm probably fooling myself.
And I probably have some imposter syndrome that I need to deal with. And I've probably just seen someone, you know, do something fantastic in my industry, and I'm like, Oh, that, that looks like [00:44:30] that's working. Like, I should try that. And like you say, it's an active you actively have to choose to stick to what works for you.
And to stay kind of focused as well, because there's all these, because of the internet, we can see what [00:44:45] everybody else is doing. All the time.
That's so dangerous. It makes it harder and harder for us to just focus on the one thing. And the one thing which is like another book that's like fantastic. if you haven't read that one please do.
It's so good.
Jess: What is the book?
Melissa: The one thing.
Jess: The One Thing. Okay.
Melissa: [00:45:00] You're gonna love it. I feel like there's so many common themes between that and essentialism. I think that maybe Greg McKeown read the one thing at some point. I was like, Oh, these books are like cousins.
Jess: [00:45:15] checking it out from the library right now. Done. Mm hmm.
Melissa: love that.
Jess: if you can't tell, I love to read, so
that's, here we go. another piece of this is understanding that our things that are essential in our lives may shift over time.
Very similar to our [00:45:30] values and revisiting how we choose our values.
Those shift, and so having to come back and like, okay, yeah, well, my number one value was connection for a long time, and we did a lot of connecting. Now my value right [00:45:45] now is family. That's my number one value, right? And being able to understand that doesn't mean that connection isn't important anymore, but you're saying like, if I put this at the forefront, does that guide my actions?
Okay.
and make that happen. Side note about values and I think I, I don't remember if I ever talked about [00:46:00] this in the values episode I did, but I like to choose a word for the year and it can be my like number one value. It can also just be something different. And so in years past, like I, I've had one or two words.
And in 2023, my word for the year was [00:46:15] Growth.
And in my mind, I was like, personal growth. There's so many things I want to work on. I want to grow my coaching and my podcasts and like growth. And the universe was like, you want to grow?
And there were so many areas of life where it was like implosion.
You want a [00:46:30] personal growth
here? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And like on so many different levels, I mean, it was like in the work sphere and personal sphere and family and friends and you're like, okay, okay, okay. I gotta rethink how I define this word. And then, this [00:46:45] year, my word for the year was fun.
Just cause, when you work and you have a business and you have all these things, it's so easy to be serious and the to do lists and the task lists, right? And so to be like, step back, actually, I like being a five year old and playing with my nieces and jumping on the trampoline for hours [00:47:00] and reminding myself of that.
But the secondary word I had was connection, actually.
Melissa: Ooh.
Jess: so the lesson learned is I actually, through a family health issue, I reconnected with. Two siblings that I have not had contact [00:47:15] with in over a decade because of their religion, not my own choice, but theirs in just the craziest way. And I was like, all right.
when we choose words that we put at the forefront of our mind to guide our actions, like the universe, God, whoever, however you want to think of it. I'm [00:47:30] like, they have their own idea of how they're like coming through with this because this is crazy.
Melissa: it's the power of intention,
right? What you're doing is giving an intention. So, you know, to be able to put that out there, what we give out is what [00:47:45] we get back, what we attract. And I think that instead of, yes, I am a fan of productivity. I'm a fan of time management. I think I'm a bigger fan of being intentional about who you're being.
and that kind of energy. I want to show, I want to be a peaceful [00:48:00] mother. Not a mom who gets you to your game on time. those aren't my goals. My goals are, I would like to have a peaceful home. I want to be fun. I want you to get to know all the different sides of me. that's where my focus is.
And yes, we, in order to do some of that, we do [00:48:15] have to look at a schedule. So there's some practical applications of that, but I love what you said. My word of the 2024 was connect as well. And my friend got me a little bracelet that has like connect on it. And I didn't realize we were going to be moving.
So we moved from the U S Virgin islands to Texas and I was like, [00:48:30] Oh Lord, how am I going to connect in a place where I don't know anybody like, Oh, you think you're funny, Jesus, I see you. yeah, I understand what you mean in terms of like when you set that intention that the universe really does challenge you.
I think to be like, okay, are you [00:48:45] serious about this? If you really want this thing, like you're gonna have to put some work behind it, but I love that. And if I look back at my year already, I really have grown in that area because I have been intentional about it. I put effort and energy into it and it is [00:49:00] like a center for me.
It's something for me to always come back to and just check myself and be like, you're on social media. Is that the kind of connection that you wanted? Did you want, Did you want real connection? Did you want to go meet people in person? You know, do you want to have sessions where you're gathering women [00:49:15] and we're having real conversations, you know?
So it's a guiding force for me. So I, a hundred percent, and I love that you do, I only started it this year and I was just like, Oh, I don't know if I want to do it again, but it's been so powerful for me to set an intention for the year. And I think [00:49:30] that, it's a really interesting way for us to reflect.
annually on that, but it's something that we need to be doing weekly at least, like reflecting on our week and saying, did I live the way I wanted to live? And if I didn't, how can I tweak that next week and do a little bit better [00:49:45] in the areas that I can improve them? Yeah.
Jess: from, actually from my therapist,
five years ago, six years ago. It's called Unravel Your Year, and it's Susanna Conway. I believe was the last name. But I think you can just Google Unravel Your Year, and it's free [00:50:00] PDF that comes up. But it's a lot of prompts, kind of, we were talking about that reflection piece, but that was the first time that I ever Thought about picking a word for the year. And so then you have to like write down like all the things you think that word means and how you want to see that play out. And then again, like how many years are we into [00:50:15] this? And every single year that you put that out there, again, it does not come through the way you think it does, but it challenges your growth in so many ways.
Melissa: It's so good. I'm looking forward already to um, it's what we're in October now. I'm already like, Oh [00:50:30] my God, I can't wait to pick my new word for January.
Jess: they're already starting to brainstorm. what do I want? Yeah,
absolutely.
But that's also part of it is like being a business center. You're already thinking about 2025.
Melissa: Well, that's true.
I love the holiday fest. I'm trying to be like super present. This is like my favorite time. I tell everyone I [00:50:45] turn into an elf and I'm like super jolly and like, yeah, a
little annoying, but I embrace it.
Jess: I love that. I'm sure your kids love that too.
Melissa: They do.
Jess: That's so good. Okay. Segwaying just to wrap up a little bit, I think we covered a lot of ground, but if you could pick [00:51:00] one thing for our listeners to remember about today's or What would it be?
Melissa: I think that I would pick
what we talked about in terms of Having limited time, I don't want to end on a somber note, but I do want to challenge [00:51:15] people to think about, you know, and don't feel guilty about the life that you've lived or think about how much time you've quote unquote wasted. All of it is lessons in learning and you're either really clear about what you want to do, or you're really clear by now about what you don't want to do [00:51:30] anymore.
You have so much power to change that. And I hope that, you know, this conversation has helped you realize that life can look more inspirational. It can be more fun and it can look more like what you value, what you [00:51:45] truly value if you're willing to do the work. And if you are intentional about it, setting intentions every so often, you can transform your life into something unrecognizable Small changes, small choices [00:52:00] every day, and it's so worth it.
Jess: just to emphasize this, what a great place to start when you're like, okay, I don't know what I want, I know what I don't want. And sometimes that is a place to start, so that at least you can start crossing things off the list.
Melissa: Yes, exactly.
Jess: [00:52:15] Okay, I have a few fun, shorty wrap up questions
for you. So first one, pancakes, waffles, or french toast?
Melissa: French toast. Easy.
Jess: Love it. Have you ever had stuffed french toast?
Melissa: I'm a purist.
I'm a, and I'm a texture person, so I don't like a [00:52:30] lot of like, mushy with hard. Yeah, so it's like, give me the pure French toast. Make sure there's tons of cinnamon in that batter. Yeah. Mm hmm.
Jess: That's delicious. Okay, what is something that you have been loving lately? So this can be like an activity, a physical thing, something you recently purchased that you're like, oh my [00:52:45] god, how did I ever live without this?
Melissa: I have actually been loving chat GPT and I know we talked about like not being on like devices and stuff like that, but they just introduced the voice version. So you can just talk to it now and I have been [00:53:00] really enjoying. I'm a math girl. I'm a nerd and I, I really love technology as well.
So being able to use chat GPT, in a more like fun way. I'm just loving seeing all the advancements they're using. I use it for menu planning, helping me [00:53:15] like come up with questions for my kids. If they don't get homework from school, you're going to get homework at home, you know, so it's like that kind of thing, like really making it more efficient.
So I have time to do other things, but yeah, I've been loving chat Yes,
Jess: not used it very much. I know. [00:53:30] Between that and we were talking about Otter earlier, I need need to get on this.
Melissa: please. It'll change your life.
Jess: let AI help me out a little bit.
Melissa: Yeah, it's just a little bit.
Jess: Okay, this might be a giveaway, but what is the number one
book that you have recommended or given as a [00:53:45] gift?
Melissa: Well, that would be my journal. Because you know, I had breast cancer. I wanted to give a nod to that because that diagnosis changed my life So my self love journal it is a pink suede journal with rose [00:54:00] gold lettering and I wanted it to, when you touch it to feel comforting, right? But more importantly, I wanted that the inside of the journal be just as powerful as the unpacking or unboxing experience.
[00:54:15] and It's something that I really do think that it will be so much fun for women and it makes a great gift around the holidays and it'll be ready mid November. I'm not selling it right now. I only do it once a year.
Jess: Okay, that's awesome. second to last question.
do you take your coffee or [00:54:30] tea or morning beverage of choice?
Melissa: I love peppermint tea. just a little bit of brown sugar. I'm a Caribbean girl, so we love our brown sugar. Cause, you We have sugar cane there so we have sugar cane factories. some of the bit of a sugar snob. so yeah, [00:54:45] peppermint tea, brown sugar.
Jess: I'm just like such a coffee person in the morning, but I also like it today is a. What second day of rain in the last like month? i've got my flannel on and like i'm like, oh man I need to take stock of our tea drawer
because yes [00:55:00] I'm, so
ready for it
Melissa: Yeah, there's soups too. Like me, I love soups so like all the different soup Pinterest, come to me. Let's open up that folder again.
Jess: same absolutely. I know in the summertime. I'm like, I can't do soup. So my husband's like no We're not ready yet. No, we're not [00:55:15] ready It's not time now that it's raining today. That was
my first thought I came downstairs and I was like Soup for dinner
Melissa: Well, when Panera brings back their, autumn squash soup, like it's on my calendar, the date is releasing them like soup season.
Jess: It's official. okay. Last question. Where can audiences find [00:55:30] you and learn more?
Melissa: so I have my website. and that's melissaklowe. com. you can find me there. And, so you don't have to remember anything else. If you click on shop, it'll take you to my Shopify site so you can get the journal. but that's at [00:55:45] TheWealthyMama. Wealthy spelled W E L L. Cause it's all about wellness.
but TheWealthyMama. com. You can go shop the journal there, and then I have a Facebook page, and that's it right now. we'll see if I keep that going forward, but yes, you can find me on my website for [00:56:00] sure.
Jess: That's awesome.
did you, or do you have a podcast? I feel like I maybe saw that.
Melissa: what I did is I wanted to create something that I thought would be super useful. so I have some anonymous coaching sessions with working moms. that I posted there. And I've been so thankful to the women who [00:56:15] agreed to have their coaching sessions recorded. you know, one of the things I know, it's so hard to find a coach.
There's so many coaches our industry is not necessarily regulated and you don't always know if someone is a good fit So I wanted to put it out there my coaching style and you know really [00:56:30] just kind of like Give people a taste of what coaching was like with me and even if they're not Ready for coaching or they can't afford coaching right now Maybe they can learn lessons from women as they work through their own, Problems or issues.
So I only have four sessions out there right [00:56:45] now you know, we'll see if I put some more out there, but it'll be a, an intentional decision.
Jess: called the wealthy mama, right? That's so cool. Well,
thank you so much for this interview. I had such a great time.
Melissa: too. This is [00:57:00] lovely. Really, really nice to like talk with you. I'm So impressed by what you do and how you do it. There's so much joy in it.
Jess: Thank you. it is so much fun. And that's one thing that like with podcasting is It's a labor of love, and I know that podcasts get monetized and [00:57:15] all of that, I just haven't gotten to that well. If we're getting technical, the hosting platform that I use has started putting like, mid roll ads into my episodes and I apparently get 1.
4 cents per download. So, SturdyGirl has
made 47 [00:57:30] cents this month.
Melissa: God. We need to celebrate
Jess: So We
Melissa: need to celebrate that.
Jess: We are technically
Melissa: That's what I'm talking about. Tiny ridiculous actions.
let's go.
Jess: I was like, wait, I can't even say that. I can't say we're not monetized now because technically we've almost made a dollar.
Melissa: [00:57:45] Love that for you. Congratulations.
Jess: you. All right. Okay, friends. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Sturdy Girl. We will catch you next week.