24. 3 (more) Tips To Improve Body Image
Embarking on the journey of self-acceptance can often feel as daunting as navigating a labyrinth. The latest episode of the Sturdy Girl podcast serves as a compass to guide listeners through the intricate maze of body image and self-perception. The episode delves into the deep waters of how we view ourselves and emphasizes the importance of aligning our physical self-image with our core values and aspirations. It isn't simply a conversation; it's a masterclass in cultivating a relationship with the skin we're in that's resilient, strong, and grounded in compassion.
In a society that often equates value with appearance, the Sturdy Girl podcast offers a refreshing take on body image. It challenges listeners to see body image as a subjective lens—often distorted by negative thoughts and societal pressures—rather than an objective reflection of physical appearance. The episode underscores that these negative perceptions are not immutable truths but malleable thoughts that can be questioned and reshaped with self-compassion.
The podcast doesn't just leave listeners with thoughts to ponder; it offers practical, actionable advice. It encourages listeners to engage in transformative self-talk, likening the improvement of body image to strength training. Just as muscles become stronger with consistent effort, so too can our self-perception be fortified through persistent positive reinforcement. The episode suggests that this reinforcement can take the form of challenging negative thoughts, exercising self-compassion, and envisioning oneself as the person we aim to become—a concept referred to as our 'favorite self.'
This concept of the 'favorite self' is particularly powerful. It prompts listeners to consider not just who they are in the present moment, but who they aspire to be. It asks them to reflect on the habits and values that define their favorite self and take tangible steps towards embodying that person. This exercise in reflection is not about creating an unattainable ideal but about identifying the qualities we most admire in ourselves and nurturing those qualities to foster growth and self-acceptance.
The episode also touches on the fluidity of body image, recognizing that it can ebb and flow with the seasons of life. It emphasizes the importance of body image flexibility, allowing oneself to adapt to changes without judgment. This concept of flexibility is critical to maintaining a healthy relationship with our bodies through various life stages, body changes, and challenges.
Listeners are left with 'homework'—a term used affectionately by Jess—encouraging them to take one step towards their favorite self. This call to action is more than a mere suggestion; it's an invitation to be an active participant in the journey to self-acceptance and to share progress with a supportive community. The Sturdy Girl podcast doesn't just speak to its listeners; it fosters a dialogue and a sense of belonging among those who strive to align their body image with their deepest values.
In essence, the latest episode of Sturdy Girl podcast is a beacon of hope and guidance for anyone struggling with body image issues. It reminds us that while the journey towards self-acceptance may be ongoing, it is also filled with moments of epiphany, transformation, and, most importantly, heart. It's about crafting a self-image that mirrors the values we hold dear and embarking on a path that leads to the most authentic version of ourselves.
By nurturing a healthy relationship with our bodies, we build a foundation of strength and resilience that supports us in all other aspects of life. This episode of Sturdy Girl is not just about improving how we see our bodies; it's about transforming how we live our lives, with self-compassion, flexibility, and positive self-talk as our steadfast companions.
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Jess: 0:04
Hello, friend, and welcome to Sturdy Girl, a podcast focused on strength, not size, where you'll hear conversations around healthy body image, cultivating confidence and being a resilient human in both body and mind. Sturdy Girl is the podcast where we shift the focus away from your appearance and on to living the big, rad life you deserve.
Jess: 0:27
Hello, my Sturdy friends and welcome to episode 24 of Sturdy Girl. I am kind of chuckling to myself right now. I have the coolest podcast setup of our entire history of this podcast. I am tucked in the bottom bunk of my niece's bunk bed, surrounded by stuffed animals, blankets and pillows to create good audio all approved by Blake before we hit record. But it's very entertaining to see. I will have picture proof on the website so you can see this.
Jess: 0:54
This episode is just me, jess, hi, friends, and we're going to make this a fun little episode about tips to improve body image and we're calling this three more tips to improve body image as a little bit of a call back to the very first episode of the first season. Episode one was what is body image on three tips to improve. It has a really great overview of what body image is, how your body image forms, going into what goes into what kinds of body image there are, and then three great tips on getting started to improve your body image. This episode is going to be kind of a continuation of that. But first let's just recap a little bit about what body image is, because I think that with a lot of the talk on body image. On social media especially, it gets kind of confusing. Body image is the mental representation an individual created of themselves, created of themselves. It may or may not bear any relation to how one actually appears. It consists of your personal relationship with your body and involves perceptions, beliefs, thoughts, feelings and actions that pertain to your physical appearance. So is it really about how we actually look or is it about our perception? That is the difference. Body image is the lens. It is the lens through which we see our bodies. It's not how we actually look. So if I were to ask you how do you feel about your body? What would you say? If I were to ask you if you had a healthy body image, what would you say? How does it feel to be asked that Body image is so big and it drives so many of our actions? When we talk about a healthy body image, our goal in improving that body image it's not necessarily body love, it's not necessarily body positivity. It can be acceptance, it can be neutrality, it can be body image flexibility. So please know, when we give these tips, what the goal is here. It is dependent on you as the individual, as the listener, on what your goal is, on what you want out of a healthier body image. And then one last reminder before we dive into these tips healthy body image and a healthy relationship with yourself it's continual work. It's not a destination you reach. Even those with a healthy body image have bad body image days.
Jess: 3:07
Okay, with all of those disclaimers and questions, before we get started, let's talk about tips for improving body image. The first one here is to challenge your thoughts. It's asking yourself what am I making this mean about myself as thoughts come up? Now, before I get into a little bit more detail on this, I want to add a disclaimer. I guess, if you are new to doing the work on your relationship with yourself and with your body image, please, please, don't start off with the step.
Jess: 3:34
Don't start off by challenging your thoughts. The very first step here is awareness not easy but simple. Taking the time to develop awareness of your thoughts, to notice your thoughts as they come up in relation to your body, when you look in the mirror, when you put on certain clothes, when you're around certain people, taking the time to notice what are the things that you say about your body. Because those thoughts, what do they say your thoughts can become your beliefs if you think them long enough. Maybe that is how your body image got shaped is by those thoughts. So the first step here, before we even talk challenging, is that awareness. But if you've gotten to the point where you can notice those thoughts without completely latching onto them which is a skill in and of itself and I don't want to diminish that but if you've gotten to the point where that is like the noticing without judging, then let's talk about challenging them.
Jess: 4:20
Ask yourself is this really true? When you look in the mirror and you notice those thoughts come up, can you ask yourself is this really true? What am I making this mean about myself? That question is something that I still use to this day when I step on the scale and the scale is generally something that's just a data point for me versus an emotional response. But if I see a larger fluctuation than normal and I ask myself what am I making this mean when these negative thoughts pop up, if you look in the mirror and you're like man I ate like crap last night, god, I feel so much bigger than I was yesterday and you stop yourself and challenge the thought that comes up and say do I believe this, is it true and what am I making it mean? And just by kind of stopping that thought spiral before it happens, can be really powerful in helping you to improve that relationship with yourself and with your body, to recognize that no matter how healthy of a relationship we have with ourselves and our bodies, those thoughts are still gonna come up. There are going to be seasons where those thoughts come up more and it's understanding. How do we handle those thoughts? That is tip number one. Challenge them, don't always accept that the thoughts you think are true.
Jess: 5:29
The second tip for improving body image is self-compassion. Now, if you have listened to or gone back and listened to, season one, episode one, where we talk about tips to improve body image in addition to a really big overview of what body image is, we mentioned self-compassion as the bonus tip, if you will, and we didn't really go into a lot of detail on what self-compassion means, because I think a lot of times self-compassion gets confused with people saying, well, you're just being kinder to yourself, so you're just gonna let yourself go or give up, and that's not the case. Self-compassion is three things it's mindfulness, it's self-kindness and it's common humanity, it's being able to be kind to yourself and that kindness to yourself is not necessarily letting yourself go or being kind and saying, oh, you don't need to work out today. Oh, you don't need to eat that vegetable for dinner, you don't need to do these things. Self-kindness is saying what do I need right now? What is the next right thing? Being kind to understand that you know that common humanity piece you are not alone, your difficulties are part of the human experience. That common human experience lets you know that you are not the only one experiencing these things. And then that mindfulness of being mindful of your own distress or the season of life that you're in, that self-compassion piece that says don't be so self-judgmental, don't let yourself be isolated and don't over-identify with personal difficulties, with the things that you're going through, to let them define you. Self-compassion is still holding yourself accountable, but in a loving way. You know you're not going to hate yourself into change.
Jess: 7:02
If we're building on the last tip of challenging your thoughts, it's being able to take another perspective when those negative thoughts come up. It is part of that skill in challenging your thoughts is saying like there's a reason this thought came up. So if we looked in the mirror and we started feeling this start of a thought spiral of well, you're bigger than before, you've clearly gained weight, those pants don't fit. The same, your fat rolls are hanging over your waistband like what is this muffin top? Whatever that thought process is. And then you recognize oh, let's back this up. I have been eating unlike I normally do. I've noticed being more bloated. I've had more salt. Okay, let's rewind a little bit and take another perspective. I wasn't eating the way I normally did because I was actually visiting a family for an event, celebrating another family member and spending time with people that I never get to see. It's a different scenario than what you're normally in. So then you're able to take this perspective and take another step back to say, okay, I understand where these thoughts are coming from.
Jess: 7:57
The self-compassion thing is to say I allowed myself to have this wonderful experience of food as nourishment and satisfaction and a way to connect with my family while I was visiting and catching up with them. Right, there's a difference. And that doesn't mean you're like, oh well, I'm gonna let it go all the way off the rails and Give it all up and just eat like crap this whole time. It's recognizing where did those thoughts come from? Okay, what do I need right now. What is the next best thing? That is, self-compassion. It's not the giving up, it's also something again this was in episode one, but I'm gonna bring this back is something called the friend test. If you notice these thoughts come up you've challenged them. Can you think about if you noticed a friend saying those things to themselves? What would you say If you had a friend who was saying those things to you? How would you respond? You're going to be a lot kinder to a friend than you are to yourself just inherently right. But how do we address that? How do we take that friend test, the next level, and start speaking to ourselves the way we would a loved one or a best friend?
Jess: 8:59
One thing I wanna note here too when I talk about self-compassion, it's noticing too, sometimes, like the self-compassion piece, even if you've done the work on body image, your body and your feelings about your body can shift depending on the season of your life. For me, it was getting out of a negative work environment to realize how much it had drained my energy for any of the big things that mattered in my life Coming home from work and then the self-compassion of what is the next best thing for me and it was okay. I have been away from the home for 12 hours. I had a 10 plus hour work day. Where is my capacity? Where is my energy best served? And then asking myself okay, I've made dinner.
Jess: 9:37
Now do I run or do I lift? If I lift, if I do either of those, do I modify or do the full workout? Do I want to do that? Or is for me the best answer taking the dogs for a walk with my husband to have some time with him before I go to bed and get up at five in the morning and do it all over again? There's no right answer here, but the season of life was realizing that my capacity was so much more limited for so many big things that mattered in my life, and one of those big things was movement, and movement at the frequency and intensity that I'm used to and that I normally enjoy.
Jess: 10:10
And so that self-compassion piece is having the awareness and being mindful of your own difficulties impacting what your priorities are in that season, knowing that those things change and they can change and you may change along with them. Your feelings about your body may have shifted because you're not carrying out your exercise routine the way that you would prefer or the way that you normally do, and that's okay. So that self-compassion piece is how can I show up for myself as best I can right now? How do I talk to myself in a way that is kind of like a person that still helps me get through whatever this season is, in a way that makes the most sense for me and that leads me right into the third tip for improving body image, and that is to lean into the vision of your favorite self. Now, I can credit multiple people with this vision of favorite self, future self. I've heard it called the number of different things of just being able to figure out what kind of qualities you want to embody as a person. I have personally felt more excited to talk about your favorite self versus your future self, and that's what I'm saying. I'm not saying that you're not becoming right.
Jess: 11:14
When you envision your favorite self, how do they respond when they look in the mirror? What do they say to themselves? How do they view their bodies? What kind of clothes do they like wearing? Who is this person? What are their main qualities that they embody and express and live by? Because the person that you are now, the choices you make now won't necessarily help you get where you want to go. And what is that saying? That's said all the time. Look at your habits. If you continue this lifestyle, if you continue making the choices that you currently are, what will your life look like one year from now? What will it look like five years from now If you want to be the person that looks in the mirror and says, hell yeah, you are rocking those jeans, or is able to look in the mirror and be like you're a sense of style, you're killing it today, or the person who's able to look in the mirror and accept what they see, someone who's able to manage the negative voices.
Jess: 12:04
How can you get there? So your homework in this. How can you take one action today, right now, to become like your future favorite self? Really lean into that, because I know it's really easy to listen to these podcast episodes. Be like, oh yeah, jess, that was a really great point and you feel good about it and you walk away. So if you're listening and you're not driving, working, otherwise occupied, I'd encourage you to grab a piece of paper note's up on your phone and really Just take a minute to think about this.
Jess: 12:30
What does my favorite self look like? What kind of qualities do they embody? What are their core values? What do you want that to look like? Cause you really have the power to change or to work on cultivating qualities that maybe you're already trying to embody. But take a minute. What do you want that to look like? What do you want things to look like a year from now? Five years from now? What kind of person is that favorite self, and what is one thing you can do today to become like that future self?
Jess: 12:57
It's fun to dream and there are no right answers here. They really aren't but just thinking about that person, when we talk about having a healthy body image and a healthy relationship with ourself, what does that feel like to you? What does that look like? Cause it's so important to know what you're working towards versus just like okay, I want to stop being so mean to myself. Well, sure, but what does the other end look like? How do you want to talk to yourself then? What does that self talk look like? Do you want to use soft and kind and flowery language? Are you that person who wants to have self love and love everything about yourself? Do you want self love in context of having this healthy relationship with yourself, knowing that your relationship with yourself is the longest and most intimate of any you'll ever have. So how do you have that sense of love, of it's love and respect and caring for your body? Right Again, no right answer. I just encourage you to take the time to think through that.
Jess: 13:46
Okay, we're keeping this episode a little more on the shorter side today, so we've covered the three more tips for body image improvement self compassion, challenging your thoughts and using this little bit of homework to envision your favorite self. So, just thinking about it in this way, body image is the lens to which we view our bodies not necessarily reality, and sometimes we put on that fisheye lens, we put on some version of a fun house mirror lens. Our relationship with ourselves and our bodies is continual work and it's always evolving, so it's always checking to make sure what lens do we have on. It's a lot like strength training, so I'm going to use this example and then we'll really wrap this up for real. Let's say that you start lifting and you have just really worked on your back squat and you work up to 200 pounds in your back squat and then life happens you don't lift for months and you start back and suddenly 150 pounds feels like a struggle. It's a lot easier for you to come back, having already been at that 200 pound squat mark. It's a lot easier to come back the second time around to work back up to that 200, because your muscles have been there before. First is getting there the first time.
Jess: 14:53
Body image improvement is a lot like this. It fluctuates with the seasons. It fluctuates when our body changes. How do we handle that? We talked about body image flexibility earlier and I'd encourage you. There's an episode in season one that talks about all the different types of body image. Body image flexibility is a big one here because you have these pieces of. Once you've started doing the work, it's a lot easier to ride those waves and be more flexible with your body image. If you started doing the work, if you've worked up to that 200 pound squat already and you're coming back to it, you're gonna rebuild faster.
Jess: 15:25
Okay, fun episode. I love giving you guys just these little tips. If you listen to this episode, if you do the homework, please feel free to drop me a line on sturdygirl underscore on Instagram, send us and email. I'd love to hear your experience. Love to hear a little bit about your body image story if you're open and willing to share Before we wrap up. Also, sturdygirl apparel is online and ready to go, so go check that out and get yourself a shirt. As always, friends, thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please feel free to like us, subscribe, follow on Spotify, apple podcasts wherever you get your podcasts. These reviews mean the world to us as we try to grow and spread the message of being a sturdy girl and living a big, rad life that is independent of how your body looks. All right, friends, talk to you next Friday.