Episode 11: Unwrapping a Stress Free Holiday: Navigating Food, Body Image, and Self-Care
The holiday season, with its magic and merriment, often brings along stress and anxiety. From managing food and drink consumption to dealing with body image issues and setting boundaries, navigating through the holiday season can be a daunting task. In our recent podcast episode, we discussed these issues in detail with our special guest, Ali, offering practical advice to help you thrive during the holiday season.
The first step towards a stress-free holiday season is preparation. We discussed the importance of creating a plan that focuses on maintaining consistency with the habits you already have. This involves identifying your non-negotiables, such as moving your body in some capacity or staying hydrated, and ensuring you consistently apply these habits throughout the holiday season.
Stress is a common factor during the holidays, but its impact on our relationship with food is often overlooked. Recognizing the physical manifestations of stress and managing it through activities like movement and mindfulness can help you maintain a healthy relationship with food. It's crucial to be mindful of your body's needs and let go of the idea of attaching morality to food.
Holiday gatherings can be a maze of foods and well-intentioned yet uncomfortable conversations about body image and food. We shared our top strategies for navigating these situations with grace and respect. This includes setting boundaries in conversations about food and body image, having an accountability buddy to help navigate stressful situations, and creating a plan for the day that includes self-care activities.
Alcohol is another common feature of holiday gatherings. We discussed strategies for handling alcohol consumption during the holidays, such as setting a drink limit and creating delicious mocktails. It's important to be aware of how your body responds to alcohol and to avoid compensatory actions the next day.
Finally, we discussed how to savor the holidays without stress and set the stage for an incredible upcoming year. This involves having the right mindset, creating habits that will sustain you throughout the year, and planning for the upcoming year.
To sum up, the holiday season can be stressful, but with the right approach and mindset, it's possible to navigate through it with ease. The key lies in maintaining consistency with your existing habits, managing stress effectively, setting respectful boundaries, and being mindful of your body's needs. By doing so, you can truly savor the season and set the stage for a healthy and happy upcoming year.
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Jess: 0:01
Hello, friends, and welcome to Sturdy Girl, a podcast focused on strength, not size, where you'll hear conversations around healthy body image, cultivating confidence and being a resilient human in both body and mind. Sturdy Girl is the podcast where we shift the focus away from your appearance and on to living the big, rad life you deserve. Hello, friends, and welcome to episode 11 of Sturdy Girl. I am joined by an incredible guest host, ali hey hi, hello, and we want to just have a nice conversation about preparing you to have the best holidays possible.
Ali: 0:40
Yeah, being able to actually go into the holidays and be present and enjoy the people around you, enjoy the delicious food that you only get a few times a year and not be stressed about it, and that's the whole point of this.
Jess: 0:53
We want you to be present, we want you to enjoy the time with your loved ones, whether that's family or friends, and just be in the moment. So here we have some great tips and tools and all the things to make it successful. Because when you're spending time around family that you don't normally spend time around, it can get tricky. When you are around food that is not normally around, it can kind of send our brains into a little bit of a spiral. So Absolutely.
Ali: 1:19
I think it's like the holidays in general, the thought of the holiday is stress people out. Right, you and I were talking before this that the holidays have, I feel, like two connotations one, that they're magical and exciting and like we can't wait for them to be here. I don't know about you, but I'm a December 1st. Christmas music gets turned on. You're not a November 1st person. No, well, honestly, was I excited about the Christmas music playing at the coffee shop last week? Absolutely, I would never say no to it. But it has that magical connotation. But it also has a connotation of stress and guilt and fear. And, okay, what am I going to do so that I lose weight during the holidays or so I don't lose my progress? Or what if someone says something to me who hasn't seen me in six months? Right, we love to have all the what ifs kind of take over and we don't get to actually be a part of the magic.
Jess: 2:16
I prefer to lean into the magic of the holidays. And one just side note I feel like since the pandemic there's been a lot more acceptance around the people that decorate for the holidays on November 1st. I'm like, if that brings you more joy, please by all means do it to full support. Like Starbucks already has their Christmas drinks out.
Ali: 2:34
Technically, people who put up their holiday decorations early are happier people. It's a scientific fact. So I'm down.
Jess: 2:40
Do it brings a joy, and that's I want to lean into the magic. Can that be? The theme of this whole episode is we want people to like lean into the magic of the holidays because that stress, that guilt, that shame, those feelings that inevitably come up and we're not saying deny them or not saying they aren't going to come up, but we can acknowledge them and still find that magic.
Ali: 2:58
Well, and I think too, so much of what we're going to be talking about, and also what we've already commented on, is like the spirit of the season, the magic it makes me think of, like when we were kids. Yep, we were just so excited for the holidays. We were so excited to see people that we haven't seen in a while and get presents and go play outside and like there was so much magic around it, and we're actually going to be giving a lot of tips around kind of how to bring back the childlike pieces of who we were, because we lose a lot of that as adults. We have, like the pressure to have all the Christmas shopping done weeks in advance and make the most elaborate meal and make sure everyone's extended cousins are happy and decorate perfectly and everything else, all the shoulds that fit in our way when we talk about, okay, how do we actually prepare for the holiday? Right, if we're looking at, okay, we know the holidays are happening, they're here every year, right, rather than going into them blind and just assuming, okay, well, I'm going to take it as they come, going to be reactive, yeah, how do we be proactive and actually have a plan in place to set ourselves up for success, knowing, okay, these are the foods that usually trigger me, these are the people that usually make a comment or I would choose to not be around if I didn't have to, right? Yeah, yeah, I would set up a plan around that. So I'll kind of let you start.
Jess: 4:22
If we're looking at, like habits that people can focus on as we move into the holidays, the consistency piece, yeah, I think that's a really important place to start when we talk about, we know the holidays come every year. Is it really that much different? Are our actions that much different in the holidays as they are on the day to day? It's like you had mentioned. You know who are we being around these things, around the events, around the dinners, around the family interaction. We're spending time around the people that we don't normally. We're spending time around food or situations, but how do we fall back on the habits that we've already created for ourselves Right, and we talked about these being kind of our non-negotiables of how do we show up for ourselves to know that we are taking care of, so that when we go into these situations, we know that we have kind of created a plan for the day, if you will, because we already have existing habits that we're following through on. Like I said tangent for just a second, I did a group coaching program last fall and it was 12 weeks. It was like October, November, December. It took people through the holidays but it was on, I'm gonna say, honing in on, but like solidifying those habits that you've already created for yourself. So if you have movement goals and no, that's not to say like please go do a hard ass CrossFit workout before Thanksgiving dinner, like that's not my point, but like you have a movement plan for me to week. So for me, you know, I lift three times a week, I run three times a week. I use those things as both physical and mental health pieces. How do I support myself through these busier seasons? To still get this movement in? Or maybe the movement is modified so then Thanksgiving day, instead of getting my run in, or maybe I run a shorter distance before, or whatever, I ask my family if they want to go for a walk, and that's something that like for Thanksgiving for me. My grandparents live on right on the river in southern Oregon and there is a paved bike path and that is either before or after we eat, depending on time of day. We go for a walk, and now this isn't like we're not speed walking, this is like a meander, because grandma isn't as mobile as she used to be and we just like walk down to where there's like a small bit of rapids, a little waterfall. We walk back and it's like a mile and a half total and it's just perfect, because it's so much more about being with those people.
Ali: 6:34
Yep, and it is about hitting a goal. Yeah, I think the biggest piece of non negotiables and kind of what we're both saying is it's not about building new habits that we have to follow through on during the holidays. It's about taking what are the basics, what are the things that are non negotiable in your life already, and how do we just consistently apply those throughout the holidays, rather than, where a lot of us fall in the trap, is we kind of do the all or nothing? Like oh, I'm so busy during the holidays. Something else is always more important. I'm going to put my stuff to the back burner, whereas the non negotiables are maybe okay. Every single morning, I I personally start with affirmations and a devotional Okay, well, maybe that's something that you're like. Hey, I need to continue doing that during the holidays because it gets me in a good headspace.
Jess: 7:23
I think to that point, you know, starting the day with something that brings back. You know want to call it presence or groundedness, or something to bring you back to the present moment and bring you back to being in your body. Especially I love that right when you wake up, because shifting into this five am wake up cycle that I am in the morning start out very rushed and it's wake up, get ready, go, and it's already the brain, the mindset of I didn't get enough sleep, I don't have enough time, I don't enough, enough enough to be able to be like I'm in the here and I'm in the now. And let's set some affirmations for the day. How am I feeling now? How do I want to feel today? What's the day to go to the?
Ali: 8:00
intention behind the day, right? Yeah, actually, it's funny that you mentioned that, because that's one of the biggest things that I work on with my own clients is when we wake up in the morning. Are we automatically giving our energy to anyone and everyone else, or are we pulling the energy into us? And especially around the holiday season, it can be so easy to wake up and have a million things on your to-do list. Maybe you have extended family staying at your house, right? You immediately wake up thinking, oh God, I already have to pour into other people. Take five minutes, bring the energy back into you. Set the intention for the day, decide, okay, what are going to be my non negotiables and, to your point, it might not be a specific oh, this is exactly the workout I'm doing every day. Maybe you're not negotiable is just I'm going to move my body in some capacity. Maybe the non negotiable is hey, I know that I feel better if I drink water. I'm going to make sure that I always have a water bottle with me, because I don't know about you, but holidays usually involve wine and we can put two together.
Jess: 9:02
Yeah, absolutely Well, that too. And do you think about how do I want my body to feel Right? That's a really kind of important thing for me and this is a conversation I have with clients as well is this time of year is supposed to be magical. How do you want to feel at these gatherings? How do you want to feel this time of year Like, yes, okay, you're going to feel stressed out. If you are a hosting family, if you're planning these things for many, many people, I'm not going to deny the stress piece, but if you want to feel good and present, how can you make that a reality? How do you want to go into that?
Ali: 9:34
Well, and I also like the idea of, because we do a lot of like stress management work in my programs and it's less about like, what you're saying is, we're always going to have stressors. That's just a part of being human, especially with the holidays, right? How do we manage it? Right, it's less about controlling them and more about managing ourselves.
Jess: 9:54
Managing your reaction, managing the fact that actually this is convenient. I just recorded an episode on kind of stress management and body image and stress management and self-confidence. So, yes, all of this because that's kind of where my brain was going to was on the stress piece of it, because stress can distort our perception of our bodies. Stress can heighten emotions, it can change how we process things and if we're stressed about the holidays enough presents, the right food, the decorations, family, all of those things we can try and look at that stress and that stress is a certain situation around the holidays. But we can take and turn it back on ourselves so easily to say, well, okay, I can't control a lot of these things, but I can control my body, or I can control the choices about my body and we can start making these choices around ourselves. So when you say like, oh, going into the holidays, I want to lose weight or maybe you want to start all these new habits or whatever, that's not the point, that's not going to help the stress.
Ali: 10:53
If anything, it's going to increase the stress, as most people know, like stress increases your cortisol. Cortisol is directly linked to our bodies, usually either holding on to body fat, gaining body fat right, we have digestive health issues, we have increased mental health issues. We don't sleep as well. I mean, recovery is trash, and so it's like, oh, we're going to do all of these things and stress our bodies out when, in general, we could just stay consistent with the habits we already have, keep our stress low and we're going to have more beneficial outcomes by doing kind of nothing.
Jess: 11:28
Yeah changing nothing, continuing to show up for ourselves in a way that we know takes care of us. Yeah, along the lines of stress too, I was thinking about the stress response cycle. I'm not familiar with that at all when they talk about kind of closing that loop and finishing the stress response cycle. Movement so there's a number of different ways and they talk about like laughter movement, something to you know. Turn down the mind if you will, but movement was a really big one. So they were talking about like you're dancing in your kitchen, you go for a run, you go for a walk. Those kinds of things help to complete that stress cycle. So when we talk about movement around a holiday or a holiday event, there's a number of different benefits, but in this, let's say, you are stressed. That can help your body start processing all of that.
Ali: 12:14
I kind of look at it as if you feel stressed, if you feel anxious, you can typically feel it in your body. Your body holds that, and so how are we moving through it? How are we like getting it out of our bodies? So, whether it's through movement, whether it's through, you know, journaling, whether it's about talking through some of those things before you're maybe in that situation, all of these things are things that you can do throughout the year, but they're going to be extremely helpful during the holidays, right when stress is inevitable.
Jess: 12:44
So one piece of that too and I feel like I bring this up every episode it's awareness, because it takes time and effort to even gain awareness around. Oh, I am feeling stressed. I'm feeling stressed in my body and I feel it in the tightness in my shoulders and the clenching of my jaw and the earlier onset fatigue that I'm noticing, right Like those things. When we can develop that awareness and then have the ability to respond in a way that says Okay, how do I manage this?
Ali: 13:12
stress. Yeah, I completely agree. I think also another tip that comes to mind that I personally used to be stressed out about a lot during the holidays. While there'd be twofold, one would be the food. I struggled a lot with my relationship to food, and so the holidays were 10 times worse, because I was always thinking about Okay, how do I track this? How do I stay within my plan? Do I bring my own food? Or it was I would fall off the bandwagon right and say, okay, it's a holiday, I'm gonna eat everything I can, because I can only have it one time a year, and the the sex is all or nothing. And the second thing I was always stressed about was how I looked, so the clothing I was wearing, what I looked like sitting down, if a person would make a comment on my body or not. All of these possible outcomes that I didn't know which one were going to happen. So I don't know where we went to have it first. But I think, like food is a big one around the holidays.
Jess: 14:09
Yeah especially with as much emotion as around food and making those traces. I feel like there's a lot of both and here because people have such a complicated relationship with food and so we can sit here and say, like food doesn't have morality, eat whatever you want, however you want, and some a lot of people listening might go yeah, jess and Ellie, that's not helpful at all. Because, there's so much more to that, but the majority of this is what kind of habits have you developed around food? What foods do you know make you feel good, whether that's from a nourishing perspective, from a satisfaction perspective or a nutrient density. Knowing that, hey, if I make sure that I have a carb dense breakfast to start my day, I function a lot better throughout the day. And you know, maybe it's planning Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is at like 330pm instead of a normal dinner time. It's that weird in between. So you're like late breakfast, but do I really eat lunch? Because then we're eating at 330. And you figure all that out. And it's knowing that, hey, I want to enjoy this food, but I know that my body functions better this way. So maybe it's going into that meal with a plan and saying I would like to make sure that I choose a vegetable in there for micronutrients, I want to make sure that I'm eating the protein. Or you can have the complete opposite perspective of you. Know what? I'm going to go into this entire meal and enjoy myself. If that sounds good, I'm going to eat it. If not, I'm going to set it aside.
Ali: 15:30
I think it's interesting because, to your point, I think every person functions differently. Everyone's needs are different. When I look at going into a holiday meal and kind of what I teach my clients to do is also what we've already mentioned is like the self awareness piece. I know that if I go into a holiday meal and I've skipped breakfast and lunch because I'm trying to save calories so I can eat whatever I want during the meal, more chances than not I'm going to binge eat the entire meal. Right, and I'm going to feel sick afterwards. Versus, like you're saying, if I plan ahead and I say, okay, I'm going to eat normal, I'm going to have my normal breakfast, I'm going to maybe have a snack because our holiday meal is at a weird time, and then I'm going to go into the holiday meal saying what do I actually want If I can have everything that's on this table? What do I actually want If there's no restriction, there's no guidelines? It takes away the fascination. It takes away this idea of oh my gosh, I can only ever have this pie once a year and I'm never going to be allowed to have it again. Tomorrow I'm going to have to start my diet. I'm going to have to be so good You're already going to go into your head. Well, I can never have this again, so I better have as much of it as possible and, in a way, you're like more, you're moralizing food. Yeah, even when you don't intend to Great, rather than going in and saying, ok, what is available to me, what am I actually really excited about? Ok, and then what's going to make me feel good? Find the balance, enjoy it and move on, because chances are you're going to feel worse by overanalyzing, by guilt-tripping, than you are if you just enjoyed the damn food and then moved on.
Jess: 17:06
Exactly. One thought I do have, and this is something that I've had conversations with clients around. I love your perspective of you're. Like Jess, this is a terrible idea. But one thing I suggest in these holiday meal situations too is like there's nothing wrong with if you want to try one of seven different things. Put like a bite's worth on there by plating your food to see the amount that's there, so that you don't go into it when you say you know what. There are no restrictions on food, there are no guidelines Eat what you truly want. But maybe what you truly want is to try everything, having it out on a plate to see the amount you're eating, so that we don't get into it. And all of a sudden you're like, holy shit, I have to unbutton my pants because I just I wanted to try everything. And here I am like I'm halfway through and I can't fit anymore. And so having that visual and that's not saying check how much you eat it's saying you want to try these things but you might have to visualize the amount so that when the, when the apple pie, pumpkin pie, whatever comes out later that there's still room for that without feeling terribly uncomfortable.
Ali: 18:06
Yeah, Again, it goes all back to awareness awareness of what you actually want versus what you think you want. Awareness of your hunger and fullness cues. Awareness of, hey, if this is just the first round and I know my family has like four rounds of food, great, Maybe I need to pace myself. Maybe I would rather have. Oh, my God, my aunt makes this caramel covered popcorn during the holidays. It's incredible, and I know it comes out at the end of the night. Right, we're all sitting around, we're telling stories and we're just snacking on this stuff because it is it crack. It literally is so to me, I'm like okay, the pumpkin pie, I can have that whenever I want it. It's actually not my favorite. Just because I can have it doesn't mean I have to. So I'm going to probably wait and I'm going to demolish some of that popcorn because that's what I actually want. Again, it's the self awareness piece when we're able to say like, hey, I'm not going to demonize any of the food. It's one day of the year If I want to feel good at the end of the night and feel satisfied. Right, Taste buds and nourishment. How do I find them?
Jess: 19:12
And this is a really good segue. So let's say you choose your foods and then the pies come out and you're like I'm passing on the pumpkin pie, it's not my jam, I want to wait for this popcorn because that is what I want to enjoy. Your uncle looks across the table at you and is like what? You're not going to eat any pumpkin pie and make some comment about your food or your body. How do you respond?
Ali: 19:31
I think what you and I had mentioned earlier was super interesting, because it definitely depends on the person, right? If you all listening work have not noticed, me and Jess probably have a little bit more of an outspoken personality when it comes to Just a little. But it comes from years of practice and years of our own self work around food and around our bodies, right? If we weren't both confident in who we are and what we believe in, it would be a lot more difficult to make some of the comments or set some of the boundaries that we have set. So for people who are new to this, who are saying, hey, I'm not 100% confident in my body yet, I'm still questioning things about my relationship with food, maybe it is just as simple as like ignoring it, laughing it off and being like okay, no, I'm good, you don't have to engage them, right? Because if we don't engage, they don't have anything to refute or to rebuttal. Right? A lot of times the other person is either looking to get a rise out of you to get some kind of comment reaction. They're either talking more about themselves right, they don't want to feel guilty for having the piece of pie and they're looking across and going well, she's not having it. I wonder why she's not having it. Should I not have it their?
Jess: 20:50
comment is a reflection of their own internalized experiences around food and diet culture. Absolutely.
Ali: 20:57
And so it has so much more to do with them than it has anything to do with you? Or is it having the conversation of like hey, my choices tonight have no effect on you or your food choices, but thank you for being concerned.
Jess: 21:09
And there's something incredibly powerful and just setting that boundary, because you absolutely and in saying that, you're not being disrespectful, you're not making for an awkward conversation, you're not being sassy, you're just like hey, I appreciate your concern, but I don't think that we need to discuss my body or my food choices today.
Ali: 21:26
It just shut it down, or you can be like me and ask them if it has anything to do with themselves.
Jess: 21:33
Again, it depends on the person who you are and it depends on who you're talking to.
Ali: 21:39
Absolutely. I would never in my life say something to say one of my grandparents. If one of my grandparents said something about what I was eating, I would laugh and just kind of ignore it and move on right, Because I know it came from a good intention.
Jess: 21:53
Absolutely. I think that my grandma, my grandma's the most wholesome human and she makes ridiculous comments about food and body and all of those things all the time, you know, and we can tease her, but I don't need. I don't need a sasser.
Ali: 22:09
There is. There. There might be individuals that you're like oh, they always bring up what diet they're on. They always make a comment of what my body looks like or what I'm doing or do I really need to eat that? And I would definitely be the person that would look back and be like I don't know, do I? Did it affect you? Weird, it's funny that my food affects you because they don't know what to say back. They kind of feel stupid and that's also they think that they're helping. Yeah, I mean you're like no, no, and most of the time they do think they're helping, they do think it's coming with a good intention and unfortunately, obviously to this point that they're still making comments. No one has corrected them. They've enabled the behavior because they don't want to have the confrontation or they don't want to have the uncomfortable conversation. But if you feel like you're at a point in your life where you're like you know what, no one else is going to say something, it's probably my place to to finally set the boundary. You can have the conversation in a respectful way that they might actually learn something about their own relationship with food or with their body.
Jess: 23:13
Or that cousin makes the same or similar comments year after year after year and you're like all right, we're having this conversation yes. It's time to go. Yeah, I think too. Talking about this as well, I've just had to respond to the ridiculous comments that friends or family make, even if they're well intentioned they're still just.
Ali: 23:31
I come from it in the process of. We're now all adults. We all come with our own past experiences and trauma and biases. But if this is something that hurts your feelings or makes you feel uncomfortable as an adult, it's probably our place to now set a boundary so that those things are not said to kids that are younger. Yes, because we can all think of an experience or an example of when we were younger and felt this way around the holidays, because someone made a comment, or even if it wasn't towards us, it was maybe about themselves, or it was about the food. Right, we heard it and it affected the way that we saw food and our bodies moving forward. So we can stop the conversation now. We can actually help the younger generation from having to even go through it.
Jess: 24:13
I like that. I was also thinking too, with this kind of circling back, to creating a plan for the day, creating and deciding how you want to feel for the day, using a few minutes for those affirmations, for the day of just being present in your body, so that we don't have necessarily as much of the heightened emotional state with the stress that comes from holiday events and gatherings. And then we have something to fall back on in those moments when, like, yeah, maybe you do set that boundary, but what's the aftermath? How are you feeling afterwards? If you have set yourself up to have those affirmations or know how you want to feel, you can come back to. You know I feel safe in my body, I make the choices that are best for my body. Like, what have you talked to yourself about beforehand, so that you don't get into maybe a negative thought spiral, even though you set the boundary, even though you maybe internally are proud of yourself for being, like, all right, we are not going to engage in that talk or you ignore it, or however you choose to respond and you made the right decision for you. What are you feeling afterwards? So having that plan?
Ali: 25:23
for the day. I completely agree. It's one thing to set up a plan, another thing to fall through with it. Right, we always come back to. I think you and I say it all the time is like consistency and repetition. Yeah, set yourself up for success, whatever that means for you, and maybe around the holidays that means okay. Part of this plan is that I do have a accountability buddy, and I don't mean it with food or movement. I mean like, hey, if I'm starting to feel stressed out or if I'm uncomfortable, I know I can go to this person and we can be in the corner of the family gathering talking to each other. I know I can get away, maybe someone to back you up. If the aunt, three times removed, wants to talk to you about what diet you're on, this individual can come up and say, hey, like I actually need their help in the kitchen, like we'll get back to you Having someone there that can be in your corner, right, yeah, like, be a buddy. I also think with that, you made a really good point of when we're setting ourselves up for success, when we're setting up for, like, these habits, these non-negotiables, in order to not allow a heightened emotional charge to affect us. Not only do we need to be mentally set up for success, we need to be physically set up for success, but I think a big thing that we forget about is if you haven't eaten consistently throughout the day before a holiday meal, your emotions are going to be all over the place. Your mental clarity is going to be all over the place. You're going to be quicker to react rather than respond. So, again, when we're setting up these habits, it's looking at what is going to keep me most balanced. So if something were to happen, I'm going to be cool. It's not going to rock me right, because I'm balanced and I like myself.
Jess: 27:00
Yeah, the hanger is real, it's real, real man. So a slight little side note when Blake and I first started dating my roommate at the time a really good friend took Blake aside and she said now Jessica's really easy to figure out. She's being real grouchy. She needs one or three things, maybe a combination if it's really bad. She either needs food, sleep or some kind of workout. And Blake and I have been together almost eight years and he says there's not a single time that has led him astray. And so it's one of those things where, if you can know that man, I'm really starting to get reactive here. Like what do I need? So often again, when holiday dinners fall at such a weird time in the day, we don't pay attention to that hunger or we're trying to save ourselves to have a bigger appetite for the meal, and that will affect those emotional reactions. And then to that point, kind of going into one other piece of just tips on body image through this, when our emotions are heightened, during stressful times, or if we are not eating adequately or frequently enough, it also changes how we perceive our bodies. Eating foods that maybe we don't normally eat can also change how we perceive our bodies. Wear comfortable clothes. It sounds like such a just like giveaway tip for the day, because we want to wear something cute, something festive, something that ever wear those things, but also recognize that if you're going to be eating a whole ass meal, your clothes are going to fit differently when you have an empty stomach versus when you have a very full stomach. Is it the stretchy pants, the stretchy dress? Is it a looser sweater? Like, wear what's comfortable to you, and that's going to be very dependent on you as the individual. So I'm not going to say, like, wear the stretchy pants, wear a dress, wear whatever, but pay attention to what you feel good in, and especially to in those moments where you're seeing the family that you don't normally see. Don't wear something that you're having to constantly pull up, push down, adjust, fidget with, because that's going to make you so much more aware of your body and the discomfort.
Ali: 28:57
Yes, this brings up so many like of my own experiences around the holidays. Same, I kind of like twofold again, my mother is going to hate if she listens to this episode, which she probably will. She's going to hate that I tell this. But around the holidays. Her logic for a long time. We've worked on it since then. But her logic was you should all wear jeans because, one, you need to look presentable right, a very traditional mindset. But two, if you wear jeans, you can't overeat because you'll be too physically uncomfortable, because your jeans will be too tight that it will cause you to not overeat, so you'll be good. All that did was cause me to wear an outfit that made me feel really physically uncomfortable and then proceed to overeat regardless because I felt like there was a restriction on what I couldn't, could not have. And then I'm sitting at the table with my pants unbuttoned underneath my sweater, feeling like absolute garbage.
Jess: 29:51
But I didn't overeat. I didn't overeat, but I feel so disgusting, right?
Ali: 29:54
now Versus yes, wear what you want, but also not as an excuse to oh, I'm gonna wear my stretchy pants so I can fit more. Because I think of it in the sense of oh, holiday foods, for the most part, typically have also different ingredients and different things in them that we also don't normally have. Right, they might have more sodium. So our body is going to also respond differently to some of these foods. Again, setting ourselves up for success being the headspace of knowing my body did not magically gain weight after one day. My body's maybe retaining water. It maybe has more sodium that I consumed the day before. Maybe I feel gross because we weren't watching football for nine hours straight. It's okay, it's one day. Yes, not going to impact the rest of you.
Jess: 30:39
And so then, the other side of things is the day after these holidays. Do not go into compensatory actions, to quote unquote. Fix yourselves. It's not. Oh, I need to burn off this food I ate. Oh, I need to add an extra five miles to my run or do a harder workout, or whatever it is to compensate for, maybe, how you acted out of the norm the day before with your eating or amount of intake.
Ali: 31:03
Because, if anything, you're actually going to put your body into more fight or flight and it's going to counteract what you're even wanting it to do. You do not need to earn your food based off of how much movement you've done. You also don't need to burn off your food. You can just go back to being normal. Just go back to your normal consistency.
Jess: 31:22
Yeah, your normal habits, your normal non-negotiables that you had the day before. Because, yeah, if you have more sodium, or a lot of times, holiday foods tend to be more calorically dense, tend to have, like you said, ingredients that we don't normally eat. For me, dairy is a big trigger, but I still enjoy it. And then the next day I'm like, oh, my body doesn't feel great, but it's one day and I just go right back to my normal behaviors.
Ali: 31:45
And if the people listening are doing what we're kind of telling them to do and being who they know to be, they're being self-aware, they're planning ahead, they're leaning into the balance of nourishment and satisfaction, then the next day they're not going to be in pain, they're not going to feel guilty, their bodies are going to feel pretty and good. If anything, they're probably going to feel like wow, I have so much energy because of the caloric surplus, I have so much more in my body. I'm ready to go. I am curious because we didn't talk about this before, but I want to hear your point to it. I think about around the holidays we tend to have a lot more alcohol, and that's something I do hear about from clients. A lot is like hey, I actually feel pretty good about the food. It's the alcohol that I have a hard time with, because my family is saying hey, have another. Hey, we're going to drink for the next four to five hours while we watch football. Right, it's a community, a connection thing. So what would you say is like maybe a good rule of thumb, if you know, hey, my family is family, is a big fan of the bushlight and I want to enjoy it, but I also don't want to go overboard.
Jess: 32:51
I mean it's that's a very Nebraska here. Sorry, I was going to say I was like you're showing your Nebraska roots right now.
Ali: 32:58
It'd be. Pbr here in Portland, but Either way I don't touch it, but that's because I don't like beer.
Jess: 33:04
So so it depends on the person, right, and that's kind of any answer to every one of these types of questions. It depends, but it's looking at. Is there a way to enjoy yourself while also knowing your limits, knowing what you enjoy and then knowing how you can handle the pressure of the family passing you another one, passing you another one? Do you set a limit so that you're like you know what, at Thanksgiving I am going to enjoy two beverages, or I will allow myself to drink until 7pm. In between each beverage that I have, I will have water. Figuring out like what works for you to know that tomorrow morning you aren't going to feel like shit is having that piece right there and there's no right answer, Maybe it's. You bring yourself along some like athletic brewing, non-alcoholic beer and that way it looks like you're you know you're still drinking beer right alongside of them.
Ali: 33:55
It's a pressure is really there. It's about for success to not even have the conversation.
Jess: 34:00
Yeah, or is it, do you like? I love how popular mocktails are. They're like gating popularity, especially with all your bubbly water flavors and all of those things. Bring stuff to make mocktails, and if people choose to add alcohol to them, great. But then you're able to enjoy it and not worry about man. I'm going to feel terrible tomorrow Because, for me personally, I don't feel good when I drink alcohol. So I will have a drink, maybe two, around the holidays, but any more than that, and I can guarantee you, the next day I will have a migraine, and I just don't like to do that to myself. And so I worked to the point for myself that I've set the boundaries with my family so that I do those things like we'll bring stuff to make little fun mocktails or, like you know, non-alcoholic mojito type things, right, and that works really well.
Ali: 34:43
I also think that the alcohol conversation is the same as the food conversation. No one has the right to make the comment on your choices. Yes, just as much as I don't like when someone asks me well, you don't have a boyfriend, are you getting married? Are you going to have a baby, like you're getting up there in age, those are questions I don't need to be asked at the holidays. I also don't need to be asked, hey, why aren't you drinking? Because we don't know everyone's experiences. So what I would say around alcohol is one either. Like you said, set the boundary. Another big one that you also mentioned is like water Make sure you're actually hydrated, because it's harder to drink more alcohol if you have a lot of water in your system. Another big thing for me is connection. Have a conversation. It's not just about like who can get drunk the fastest right, yeah, it's, usually it's depending on your family. And well, true, true. And the last one is it goes back to kind of full circle. It's go back to your habits. Have you eaten a meal? Have you moved your body? Have you set yourself mindset wise up for success? I think with any of the questions you might have around holidays, around stress, it all goes back to the basics.
Jess: 35:55
Great, so you don't drink bushlight at the holidays. But what do?
Ali: 35:57
you drink? Absolutely not. I do drink. I will have like a nice glass of wine. I am also someone that, like I'll have like a drinker or two. I don't love alcohol. I don't dislike it. If I'm going to drink, it's going to be like a really fun holiday cocktail. I typically am not going to drink more than one or two because they're usually too expensive to keep buying. And yeah, I'm kind of the same way of like I value my next day a little bit too much, I would say. Once you feel confident in your body, you feel confident around food, you feel confident in who you are, your presence does not have to be doled by drinking if you don't want it to be. You're able to be present without needing the addition of other things. I love it. That's all I got for you.
Jess: 36:43
I think this was awesome. We covered a lot of ground. I feel like this will help set people up to feel the magic of the holidays Enjoy the food, enjoy the people, enjoy the experience and manage that stress because, again, we're not trying to get rid of it.
Ali: 36:58
It doesn't have to be that hard, it really doesn't. You can actually just enjoy the holidays and it's not that bad.
Jess: 37:04
Know that they're not going to make or break anything, absolutely.
Ali: 37:09
Fall back on the habits? Yeah, as long as you go in with the right headspace. I think that not only you know takes you through the holidays, but that transitions into the new year and that is definitely a conversation for another podcast.
Jess: 37:21
That is the idea, for the last episode of the first season is to make next year the best year yet, so join me again as a family. Sign me up. I love it. Okay, let's line off here. Thank you so much, friends, for listening and we'll talk to you next Wednesday. Bye, everybody. If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please feel free to follow, subscribe, like whatever the heck you do with podcasts. As always, stay sturdy, friends, and we'll talk to you next week.