38. [STURDY SHORT] A Pep Talk For Body Image Spirals
This is the episode you download to revisit on bad body image days. It's 8 minutes of your friend, who cares deeply, giving you a pep talk when your feels about your body are causing your brain to spiral.
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Jess:
0:09
Hello, friend, and welcome to Sturdy Girl, a podcast focused on strength, not size, where you will hear conversations around flexible body image, cultivating confidence and being a resilient human in both body and mind. Sturdy Girl is the podcast where we shift the focus away from your appearance and on to living the big, rad life you deserve. I'm your host, jess Heiss, dropping episodes every Friday, as we help you make the most of your Sturdy Girl summer. That is, reclaiming body confidence, wearing the swimsuit and doing the kinds of activities you want without letting your body or appearance hold you back. Hello, my sturdy friends, and welcome back to episode 38 of season 3 of Sturdy Girl. We have this episode and one more episode until we are done with season 3. We'll be taking a, I think, three-week break, if I remember correctly, before jumping into season four in September, which is wild to me. But we're gonna do a little something different today You're gonna bear with me, because I feel like this is so needed for myself and for you. Maybe.
Jess:
1:16
So a little set the scene moment here. We all have bad body image days. We all have those thought spirals that we can get into, even when we have a healthy body image. So this is me speaking directly to you during a body image spiral. It is short, heartfelt and intensely personal. Like I said, it's a little different than the way we've previously done episodes, but I want this episode to be that one episode that you have downloaded to revisit, on just this kind of body image day, a few minutes of someone who is wholeheartedly in your corner because I am reminding you of how resilient and powerful you really are.
Jess:
1:54
So let's begin. Let's start by taking a deep breath in through your nose for four counts One, two, three, four, pause and you're going to slowly exhale through your mouth. Now, I don't know if you're like me in this moment, but when someone says to take a deep breath when I'm reading a book, or when someone mentions a yawn out loud, I follow through, I yawn, I'm the one that takes a deep breath. So in this moment, I just take a few moments to take a big deep breath. And we're going to start with two gigantic reminders One, your body is simply the meat sack that allows you to experience the magic in this world. It is only one singular part of who you are, a small piece of the puzzle, not the whole. And two, it is okay to have moments, hours or days where you do not like your body.
Jess:
2:49
Your feelings are valid and it is 100% important to acknowledge them. Let me repeat that it is okay to have moments, hours or even days where you do not like your body. The important part is acknowledging acknowledging those feelings. Your body and mind are strong, resilient and helped you make it through 100% of your lived experiences so far, and I'd say that's a pretty good track record for the likelihood that you're going to make it through today. But seriously, friend that meat sack your body.
Jess:
3:18
It's not what gives life meaning. The days we don't feel good in our body aren't the ones that define us. Nor does our body or our appearance define who we are. These kinds of days are going to come up, no matter what your body looks like, no matter how healthy your body image is, no matter what kind of lifestyle or level of physical activity you pursue. And, as much as I hate when people tell me this, these negative feelings will pass.
Jess:
3:44
So let's give this a little perspective One. What if I told you that our goal here is not to get rid of the negative thoughts, because getting rid of negative thoughts isn't possible? Yes, we can decrease the number of negative thoughts in our head, and that's a topic for another time. But our goal here is to give space for those negative thoughts to come up and let them be just that thoughts. You don't have to latch on or identify with those thoughts. They don't have to mean anything about you if you don't want them to. They're just words swirling around inside your head too.
Jess:
4:20
I want you to think about your favorite human on this planet your partner, a parent, a sibling, a best friend. If they came to you and said God, I am just feeling really shitty about my body today. These rules on my stomach make me feel worthless, and none of the clothes I put on fit right or feel good. I really just I want people to see that I have these defined shoulders that I've worked so hard for. How are you going to respond to them? Are you going to get upset with them for not having achieved the body that they seem to want? Are you going to judge them for feeling negatively for being in this state? Not at all. You're going to, first of all, be kind to them. You're going to be gentle and certainly not harsh. You'll want to tell them about their amazing qualities as a human, the things that you love about them that have nothing to do with their appearance.
Jess:
5:02
So, if you feel up for it, let's shift this friend talk onto ourselves to remind us that we, you, are a rad, strong and resilient human who isn't going to let one day, one hour and one body image spiral or a series of negative thoughts create a bad life. Let those negative thoughts come up, but take that deep breath and ask yourself if the things you're saying to yourself are things that we would say to a friend. Are they really true? How can we reframe here? How can you reframe here? Third perspective here Can we ask some questions to remind ourselves of the incredible human being that we are?
Jess:
5:39
Sometimes these questions are not ones that we want to contemplate during our spiral, let alone answer, and I 100% acknowledge this. So, questions what are some things that you do well? What are some things that make you proud of yourself? Is it your ability to turn everything into a dick joke, to be able to devour a book in one sitting? Are you an amazing dog, mom? Have you managed to keep your houseplants alive and thriving? What about your ability to soak in the smell and sight of gorgeous flowers, to hug your loved ones, no matter what your arms look like, to have strong legs that allow you to do all the activities that you love.
Jess:
6:16
Are you maybe a really good listener? Friend? Your kindness, your compassion, your sense of humor, your ability to be a good friend and human to others these are the qualities that truly matter and are important in this life of 75 summers, not the size of your clothes or the number on the scale. You're not alone, friend. Reach out to someone you know loves and cares about you. We care about you. This point is so huge.
Jess:
6:44
When you're struggling, please don't isolate yourself, and I know it's so easy to do, but there is true power in being with others who are supportive, who are there to listen, who are there to be a shoulder, whatever you might need, and then, from there, can you take a few moments to engage in something that feels good and feels like self-care, and only you can answer what self-care feels like to you right now. But when we are in these spirals, it is even more important to take the time to take care of you. Your worth is not found in your brain cells or your fat cells. You are inherently worthy for being here, for being human. So, regardless of your thoughts about your body right now, you are worthy of love, respect, care and nourishment, and so is your body.
Jess:
7:33
I'm sending you the biggest virtual hug, so much love and the reminder that I am always in your corner. My DMs are open and, friend, you've got this, even if it might not feel like it right now. All right, friends, that felt really good. I hope that some of this resonated with you, helped you in these days of body image spirals, to know that you have someone else in your corner and know that you're not alone. Whether you have healthy body image, positive body image, body neutrality, whatever it might be, or you're just straight up struggling, we all have days like this that are triggered by different things, and that's why we're here. Again. I will reiterate DMs are open, always happy to chat. Friends, happy Friday, I'll talk to you next week.